Why The Stories in Your Head Are Exhausting You. Here’s What to Do Instead.

Issue 166, May 8, 2026 ✨ Higher Power Coaching & Consulting ✨

This past week I had one of those moments where I realized how much my relationship with my own mind has changed.

I was thinking about something coming up and noticed myself starting to go down a familiar (negative) path. You know the one… Thinking through all the possible scenarios, trying to predict what might happen – what someone might say, how I might respond. It wasn’t even particularly dramatic, but I could feel the shift in my body. It felt tighter, I felt a sense of urgency and a pull to “figure it out.”

And then I caught it. Not in a harsh way. Just a simple, “oh… this is a story, not a prediction of the future.”

That one moment changed everything. Because instead of continuing down that path of living into the wreckage of the future (and jacking up my nervous system), I paused and came back to reality.

I never used to be able to do that. I didn’t even know it was an option!

When Your Thoughts Feel Like Facts

Have you ever caught yourself thinking something like:

• They’re upset with me… I must’ve done something wrong 
• This is never gonna work out 
• She’s gonna think I’m a bad person
• Something bad is going to happen, I can feel it 

And then, without even realizing it, your mood shifts, your body tightens, and your nervous system start reacting as if that thought is true.

That’s not just overthinking. It’s you believing a story your mind is telling you. And most of the time, you don’t even realize you’re doing it. Stories are not predictions of the future. They’re stories.

How This Shows Up in Everyday Life

Years ago, I heard someone say, “reality is always kinder than the story I tell myself about it.” At the time, I didn’t really understand it because I thought my thoughts were reality. If I believed something strongly enough, it must be true. What I didn’t see was how often I was ruminating about the past, living into the wreckage of the future, and filling in the blanks about other people, all without any real evidence. Then, I’d react to those stories like they were facts.

This shows up in really ordinary ways. You assume someone’s tone means something about you. You decide a situation is going to go badly before it even happens. You interpret someone’s behavior as rejection. You tell yourself a story about what someone else is thinking or feeling, and then you respond to that story instead of what you know to be true (the facts).

I still do this sometimes. Not anywhere near as often as I used to, but it still happens. A simple example is when my sweetheart chose to use his own camping chair instead of one of mine. That was the entire situation. But the story in my head turned it into something else entirely. It became about rejection and what it meant about me. Logically, I knew that wasn’t true. I know he thinks my camping chairs are not supportive enough of his back. Plus, his actions consistently show how much he loves and cares about me. But in that moment, my body reacted to the story, not the facts.

Why Your Body Believes the Story

That’s the part most people miss. Thoughts don’t just stay in your head. When you believe them, they land in your body. Your system responds as if the thought is real, which means you feel it and then act from it. 

If the thought is “I’m being rejected,” you feel hurt or anxious.
If the thought is “this is gonna go badly,” you feel tense or afraid.
If the thought is “I can’t handle this,” you feel overwhelmed. 

From there, it’s very easy to start over-explaining, people-pleasing, over-preparing, avoiding, or shutting down. Not because the situation actually requires it, but because the story does.

The Self-Care Piece Most People Miss

This is one of those places where self-care gets misunderstood. We tend to think of self-care as something we do, like resting, taking a break, setting limits, or saying no. Those things matter a whole lot, but they’re not the whole picture. One of the most powerful forms of self-care is learning to question the thoughts that are driving your behavior in the first place. 

If your thoughts are constantly telling you that you’re not safe, that you’re not enough, that something bad is about to happen, or that other people’s behavior is about you, you’re going to live in a constant state of stress, even when nothing is actually wrong.

One of the biggest turning points in my life was realizing that I don’t have to believe my thoughts. That was an absolute game changer for me! That doesn’t mean I stopped having them, and it doesn’t mean I replace every negative thought with a positive one. It simply means I don’t automatically treat every thought as fact. There’s a space between having a thought and believing it, and in that space, you get a choice.

Where Your Power Actually Is

In real life, this looks less like arguing with yourself and more like noticing what’s happening. You might catch yourself thinking, “she’s mad at me,” and instead of immediately reacting, you pause and ask, “do I actually know that?” or “what else could be true?” 

You might notice yourself spiraling into the future and thinking, “this is going to be a disaster,” and gently bring yourself back to what’s actually happening right now. That’s where the idea of one day at a time, or even one moment at a time, becomes so powerful. Most of our suffering isn’t coming from what’s happening in the present. It’s coming from the story we tell ourselves about what might happen next.

This connects directly to what we talked about last week. If you believe thoughts like “I can’t say no,” “they won’t be okay if I do this,” or “I won’t be able to handle their reaction,” then of course you’re going to override yourself. It’s not because you don’t know what you want. It’s because the story makes it feel unsafe to follow through. That’s how patterns like over-giving, people-pleasing, and resentment begin to build then become entrenched. Not from reality itself, but from your interpretation of it.

A Simple Place to Start

So here’s a simple place to start. When you notice yourself getting activated, overwhelmed, or reactive, ask yourself, “what story am I telling myself right now?” Then follow it up with, “is that actually true?” Not in a harsh or judgmental way, but with curiosity. This is info, not ammo. You’re not trying to prove yourself wrong. You’re trying to see more clearly.

You don’t need to control your thoughts or eliminate them. You don’t need to get it right every time. You just need to stop automatically believing everything your mind tells you. When you do that, you create a little more space, a little more calm, and a little more choice. And over time, that changes the way you experience your life in a very real and meaningful way.