Hi, I’m Barb, boundaries coach. My specialty is helping women build internal safety so their boundaries actually hold.
After nearly 40 years of therapy and personal development, I found my way to 12-step recovery at the age of 52. What began as a journey to address codependence soon expanded to include recovery from intergenerational dysfunction, childhood trauma, and compulsive overeating—issues I hadn’t initially recognized in myself. Decades of personal development had merely scratched the surface. Recovery melted the iceberg of my life.
Because codependence was my core wound, learning to build healthy boundaries transformed me at every level—my relationship with myself, with others, and with the world around me. The ripple effect of these changes even reached my professional life, profoundly impacting my team at Yale University, where I worked at the time [continued below].
Watch My 3-Minute Introduction
Continued from above
Before recovery, I was acutely aware of my history of unhealthy, unsatisfying romantic relationships. I also struggled with years of substance use and overeating, carrying over 100 pounds more than I do now. Despite these struggles, I maintained an outward appearance of having it all together.
I once believed I was a positive, optimistic person. Recovery revealed the truth: I was trapped in negativity and fear. I ruminated about the past, catastrophized about the future, complained frequently, engaged in "if only" thinking, and blamed others for my difficulties. I was terrified of judgment, rejection, abandonment, and being seen as a bad person. I didn’t realize how deeply these patterns affected me until they began to change.
At my core, I have an inherent desire to grow. I am a compassionate person driven by a strong purpose to make the world a better place. My background in sociology helped me understand how societal inequalities are embedded in our institutions, yet it also showed me how we can challenge and disrupt these patterns through our everyday interactions. This change starts within us. It can’t happen for women who continue saying yes when they want to say no, or who neglect themselves because they’re too focused on others.
Combining my life experience and education has shaped my purpose: to help professional women stop saying yes when they mean no, and to end the cycle of self-neglect by reclaiming their focus and power. I do this through my boundaries coaching and professional speaking engagements, as well as my podcast, “"Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery."
If you want to learn a lot more details about me (and I mean a lot) click here for more about Barb. If you'd like to know how and why I became a boundaries coach, you can read about that here.
Another thing you should know about me is that I have a strong social justice orientation. To me, that means I believe in using the privileges I have as a white, heterosexual, educated cisgender woman to benefit those who have been marginalized in our society. If that's not something that you value, we probably won't work well together.
A Candid Moment
This video is a private moment that was captured at my 60th birthday women's brunch on April 1, 2023. I didn't know I was on camera!
When my friend shared it with me, I just knew I had to share it with others so they'd know who I am, what's important to me, and why I do what I do. This is not a "job" for me, this is a mission!
Check out Barb's signature program
UNSHAKABLE YOU
A 12-week private boundaries coaching program. Build inner safety so you can set boundaries without guilt and stay steady when life gets hard.
The World I'm Working Toward
A world where people who’ve been taught to put themselves last finally feel safe inside their own lives. A world where professional women stop shrinking or over-functioning and instead trust themselves, honor what they need, and make choices that reflect their values instead of other people’s expectations.
Why I Do This Work
To help professional women, and anyone who identifies with their struggles, restore the internal safety they were never taught to build. I provide the tools, language, and support that help people turn inward, reconnect with their truth, and stop saying yes to what drains them. This work gives people the clarity and confidence to reclaim their time, power, and presence so they can live as who they truly are.
Why This Matters
Many of us grew up believing our worth was tied to how much we gave, fixed, or tolerated. This conditioning leaves people exhausted and disconnected from themselves. It also erodes the internal safety needed to trust your own voice and make choices that honor your truth.
Boundaries aren’t just external limits. They’re the practices that rebuild self trust and restore your sense of safety inside your own life. When you feel grounded and steady within yourself, you protect your energy, speak with clarity, and make decisions that reflect your values instead of settling for old patterns.
And when one person breaks free from over-functioning and self neglect, they shift entire families, workplaces, and communities. Personal freedom isn’t only a private win. It’s the spark that fuels collective transformation.
why
What Make My Work Different
Most boundary experts teach what to say.
I teach what happens inside you when it's time to say it.
Because boundaries don't usually fail from lack of knowledge. They fail when guilt, fear, self-doubt, or someone else's emotions become stronger than your connection to yourself.
That's why internal safety is at the center of everything I teach.