Fragmented to Whole

I explore how looking for “your part in things” (as taught in step 4) shows us where we’ve been doing things that have contributed to the difficulties in our lives. This gives us options for how to do things differently. This brings us out of victim mentality because we now see we have choices. those…

Here are 12 lessons from 12-step recovery that can be applied to dating and relationships to improve them. Some of the lessons are from recovery slogans, and others are from common practices in recovery. The lessons I share are these:  Don’t date for the first year Be real When someone tells you who they are,…

If you’ve fallen in love with someone else’s potential, you know that it’s a potentially endless drain on your energy. If this is a pattern for you, there’s hope! You’ll learn why we do this and how to stop – which means learning to keep the focus on yourself so you can live up to…

Constructive questions help us construct a better version of ourselves. Destructive questions are just that – destructive. They destroy us – or at least inhibit our development. I share some typical destructive questions that people in recovery ask themselves (e.g., WTF is wrong with me??”) and provide several examples of constructive questions to ask that…

When we attempt to fix, rescue, protect and buffer others from the negative consequences of their own lives, we’re not helping. In fact, we may very well be making things worse. We’re definitely making things worse for *ourselves* by draining our energy supply so we don’t have anything left for ourselves. I talk through a…

Setting boundaries can be difficult, esp. when we first start. The guilt and shame we feel when setting boundaries can be paralyzing. Bookending with a safe, supportive other person when you’re setting boundaries can help you deal with those difficult emotions. It can also help you hold yourself accountable to following through on setting the…

Barb’s guest Hope shares her experience, strength and hope on this episode. Hope shares about her #YOLO philosophy, which is very different than her YOLO philosophy of her younger years! Now it’s about trying new things that you’ve always wanted to try, trying things that will stretch, grow and change you. When she was young,…

Two stories about garbage cans are profiled to show how our thinking becomes much less rigid as we continue our journey of recovery. These stories also illustrate how recovery shows us how frequently we put up with things that annoy the f**k out of us when we don’t have to. We GET TO have choices…

SHOW NOTES If you’re sick and tired of the endless string of negative thoughts and self-judgment in your head, that can end! I’m living proof! It starts with awareness – awareness of what you’re saying to yourself. You then need to analyze what those messages are and what they’re doing to do you. They’re crippling…

SHOW NOTES When we’re focus on what we DON’T want we tend to get it, so focus on what you DO want instead. SHOW NOTES When we’re focused more on what others think of us, and things we DON’T want, we’re more likely to get it. However, when we start to focus on ourselves and…

SHOW NOTES The only way to change the way others interact with you is to change the way YOU interact with THEM! You can’t change other people, but you *can* change your ways! When you start being honest with people about what you really want, need, think and feel, when you lower your expectations of…

SHOW NOTES Codependent people are focused outside themselves and care what others think about them. As you’re recovering from your codependent ways, you can leverage that tendency for your own good by using it with some kind of an accountability partner. In the beginning, you can use that desire to NOT let them down by…