Fragmented to Whole

Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery

This podcast can help you go from fragmented to whole. The title of the podcast comes from my journey of recovery in 12 step programs where I came in feeling fragmented and now I AM WHOLE. I talk about how that happened, and many of the lessons I've learned in recovery. I cover such topics as learning acceptance, overcoming unrealistic expectations, intimacy, forgiveness and boundaries.

All episodes are 20 minutes or less, most are less than 15. The first episode is my story in brief so you'll hear about the kind of profound life changes that I experienced in 12-step recovery. Other episodes cover specific topics such as Acceptance, Victim Mentality, Overcoming Negative Thought Loops, etc. You don't have to be in recovery to benefit from it though!

One last (very important) thing. I don't speak for or endorse any particular 12 step program of recovery. Though I'm a huge fan of 12 step recovery, and a member of two 12 step fellowships, I cannot speak them. Take what you want and leave the rest.


Listen to Fragmented to Whole:
Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery

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Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery On:

Episode 129: Why People Get Offended When You Set Boundaries with Them

I share a couple of stories to illustrate how people get offended when someone sets a boundary with them, and how it (often) is because they don’t have healthy boundaries themselves. You’ll also learn how it’s up to you where and when you want to set boundaries, and whether you want to explain about your…

Episode 128: Are You a Peach or a Pear? Not Everyone Is Going to Like You

Coming to understand that we are flawesome (flawed + awesome) and that not everyone is going to like us is a GAME CHANGER for many of us in recovery! When we realize that we’re fine just as we are, and some people are just never gonna like us, life gets easier. I give a metaphor…

Episode 127: You Don’t Have to Believe the Stories Going through Your Head

We often make up stories about ourselves, others and the world that are not based in fact and truth. Yet we act as if they are and live with the consequences of believing these b.s. stories! You don’t have to life like that! You’ll hear a couple of stories about what these stories can look…

Episode 126: How Understanding Your Part in Things Brings You Out of Victim Mentality.

I explore how looking for “your part in things” (as taught in step 4) shows us where we’ve been doing things that have contributed to the difficulties in our lives. This gives us options for how to do things differently. This brings us out of victim mentality because we now see we have choices. those…

Episode 125: Top 12 Lessons on Dating and Relationships from 12-Step Recovery

Here are 12 lessons from 12-step recovery that can be applied to dating and relationships to improve them. Some of the lessons are from recovery slogans, and others are from common practices in recovery. The lessons I share are these:  Don’t date for the first year Be real When someone tells you who they are,…

Episode 124: Why and How To Stop Falling In Love With People’s Potential

If you’ve fallen in love with someone else’s potential, you know that it’s a potentially endless drain on your energy. If this is a pattern for you, there’s hope! You’ll learn why we do this and how to stop – which means learning to keep the focus on yourself so you can live up to…

Episode 123: Why Asking Constructive Questions Instead of Destructive Questions Improves Your Life

Constructive questions help us construct a better version of ourselves. Destructive questions are just that – destructive. They destroy us – or at least inhibit our development. I share some typical destructive questions that people in recovery ask themselves (e.g., WTF is wrong with me??”) and provide several examples of constructive questions to ask that…

Episode 122: Stop Fixing, Rescuing and Protecting Others and Keep That Energy for Yourself!

When we attempt to fix, rescue, protect and buffer others from the negative consequences of their own lives, we’re not helping. In fact, we may very well be making things worse. We’re definitely making things worse for *ourselves* by draining our energy supply so we don’t have anything left for ourselves. I talk through a…

Episode 121: How to Harness the Power of Bookending When Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries can be difficult, esp. when we first start. The guilt and shame we feel when setting boundaries can be paralyzing. Bookending with a safe, supportive other person when you’re setting boundaries can help you deal with those difficult emotions. It can also help you hold yourself accountable to following through on setting the…

Episode 120: *Video* Guest Episode with Hope – You Only Live Once.

Barb’s guest Hope shares her experience, strength and hope on this episode. Hope shares about her #YOLO philosophy, which is very different than her YOLO philosophy of her younger years! Now it’s about trying new things that you’ve always wanted to try, trying things that will stretch, grow and change you. When she was young,…

Episode 119: Getting Rid of Black & White Thinking and No Longer Tolerating Dysfunction.

Two stories about garbage cans are profiled to show how our thinking becomes much less rigid as we continue our journey of recovery. These stories also illustrate how recovery shows us how frequently we put up with things that annoy the f**k out of us when we don’t have to. We GET TO have choices…

Episode 118: How to Untie the Bundle of Negativity and Self-judgment So You Can Have Peace and Ease.

SHOW NOTES If you’re sick and tired of the endless string of negative thoughts and self-judgment in your head, that can end! I’m living proof! It starts with awareness – awareness of what you’re saying to yourself. You then need to analyze what those messages are and what they’re doing to do you. They’re crippling…

What listeners are saying

"Barb, it's clear that you're speaking from your lived experience, and what you talk about is beyond the rooms of recovery. You actually operationalize recovery."

- C

"Barb. My goodness. I just finished your [One Day at a Time] podcast. It was incredible. Thank you....

So I've listened to your first podcast. I was connected to what you said especially how your life has changed.  PAUSE, which I've learned about and love. And flawsome. Amen...Thanks so much. You give hope. It was powerful...

Just listened to #2 Acceptance. Gonna have to listen again. It was powerful. What really comes across is your sincerity. Thanks."

- K

"Hey! Finally started listening  to your podcast. It’s really good.  I listen to over 1000 podcast probably in the past two years. Your shit is official. You’re totally Flawsome.  You’re like a dynamic special ops recovery person. You're totally sensitive and have the [anonymous program]  active listening and true compassion characteristics. Combined with a little bit of adorable cheesiness (e.g. Flawsome). But then also like a tough guy old timer that’s gruff and doesn’t take shit from people."

- J

"I'm a minute and 22 seconds into your episode on Acceptance... I still have these [negative] thoughts...The solution: growth mindset and surrounding myself with this kind of information...thank you for doing this, definitely helps motivate me..."

- E

"Your podcast was a delight to listen to. Authenticity, sincerity starts within and re-parenting oneself with gentleness, humor, love and respect are the tools that fuels the process."

- A

"Full of useful, helpful guidance!!!! So, I say thank you for your efforts! It was not preachy at all - and I guard against 'preachiness.' ...Thank you for your efforts Barb."

- A.C

"I play [your podcasts] for people when I give them rides home from meetings. They find them awesome as I do...I am hoping to begin using your podcasts in groups at work - short enough to hold people's attention and wonderful topics that all can benefit from as we try to bring healing and freedom from suffering into the are a delight and a noble soul. Thank you. Grateful for your commitment to help heal our planet."

- R

"If I had to describe it....I bathed in episodes 1-3 this morning and I feel much more prepared to engage in the tasks that will bring me success...thank you."

- V

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