Fragmented to Whole

Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery

This podcast can help you go from fragmented to whole. The title of the podcast comes from my journey of recovery in 12 step programs where I came in feeling fragmented and now I AM WHOLE. I talk about how that happened, and many of the lessons I've learned in recovery. I cover such topics as learning acceptance, overcoming unrealistic expectations, intimacy, forgiveness and boundaries.

All episodes are 20 minutes or less, most are less than 15. The first episode is my story in brief so you'll hear about the kind of profound life changes that I experienced in 12-step recovery. Other episodes cover specific topics such as Acceptance, Victim Mentality, Overcoming Negative Thought Loops, etc. You don't have to be in recovery to benefit from it though!

One last (very important) thing. I don't speak for or endorse any particular 12 step program of recovery. Though I'm a huge fan of 12 step recovery, and a member of two 12 step fellowships, I cannot speak them. Take what you want and leave the rest.

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Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery

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Ep 156: Info, Not Ammo

I can’t believe I have never done a podcast on the concept of info, not ammo. When you learn something negative about yourself, instead of using it as *ammunition* for you to beat yourself up, use it as *information* to integrate about yourself. This is so important especially in the 4th step inventory of 12-step…

Ep 155: How to Stop Lying to Yourself and Make Real Change – You Can Do Hard

One comment I hear all the time from people in recovery or who are trying to make big changes in their lives is, “It’s so hard!”. The hard that you’re currently living if you’re still using is actually making things more difficult unless something changes. This week’s episode 155 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast…

Ep 154: How I Lead My Life on Purpose

I’m doing something new in this episode that I’ve never done before; I am resharing a conversation from a year and a half ago on the podcast Reinvention Rebels. This is the first time I was ever on a podcast and you’ll hear how fresh and new I was to my message and my own…

Ep 153: Learning to Have Realistic Expectations and Becoming Able to Let Things Go

When I did the 12 steps in my second program, after I determined my defects of character in steps 4 & 5, I was tasked with picking 4 of my top defects and do some really deep work on each of those for steps 6 & 7. I had to define very specifically what it…

Ep 152: How to Stop Taking Things Personally and Come Out of Victim Mentality

Probably the most important paradigm shift of my entire recovery journey was coming out of victim mentality. I had no idea I had this mentality but I could spot a victim a mile away; I thought I could save them all. When I finally discovered that I had victim mentality, it was a huge awakening;…

Ep 151: Why Your Motives Matter for You But Not For Other People

One of the most important questions I have learned to ask myself when trying to decide what is the right thing for me to do is “What are my motives?”. Your motives really matter when it comes to your own next steps, but other people don’t care about your motives. They care about your actions.…

Ep 150: Guest Alex – Addicted to Comfort

Alex and I met back in 2018, and the way he articulates his story is so inspiring that I knew he had to be on the podcast. Alex is in two different 12-step programs, one for behavior and one for substance, in his case, food. That’s why episode 150 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast…

Episode 149: How Surrender Leads to Victory Not Loss

I heard someone talking about their journey to starting recovery and how they didn’t ever want to surrender anything because that would mean that they would lose. I don’t believe that surrender in recovery means you lose, so I wanted to bring it to you this week. That’s why episode 149 of the Fragmented to…

Episode 148: How to Stop Being Attached to Outcomes – You Don’t Get to Have your Curiosity Satisfied

I used to believe that if I was curious about something, I deserved to have it satisfied, or I needed to have my curiosity satisfied. Something I learned through recovery is that I don’t have to or need to have it satisfied; I’m able to NOT get closure on things. I think my strong desire to know…

Episode 147: You Are Not Alone – There Are Others Just Like You

One of the most powerful lessons you can learn in recovery is that you are not alone. It was recently reinforced after receiving a Postsecret email. Frank’s story of how he created Postsecret and why is incredibly moving. That’s why episode 147 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about understanding that you are not…

Episode 146: Stop F-ing Blaming Other People and Keep the Focus on Yourself

I titled this episode as if it’s a command, but it’s really an option. You get to choose to stop putting the blame on others. If everyone else really is to blame for everything wrong in your life; you may as well crawl under a rock because you have no options. I don’t believe this…

Episode 145: How to Stop Worrying About Others’ Opinions

Years before recovery I was part of a spiritual sharing circle. One of the people who was part of that same sharing circle had been in AA for a long time, and one of the things he said all the time was, “It’s none of your business what other people think of you,”. It took…

What listeners are saying

"Barb, it's clear that you're speaking from your lived experience, and what you talk about is beyond the rooms of recovery. You actually operationalize recovery."

- C

"Barb. My goodness. I just finished your [One Day at a Time] podcast. It was incredible. Thank you....

So I've listened to your first podcast. I was connected to what you said especially how your life has changed.  PAUSE, which I've learned about and love. And flawsome. Amen...Thanks so much. You give hope. It was powerful...

Just listened to #2 Acceptance. Gonna have to listen again. It was powerful. What really comes across is your sincerity. Thanks."

- K

"Hey! Finally started listening  to your podcast. It’s really good.  I listen to over 1000 podcast probably in the past two years. Your shit is official. You’re totally Flawsome.  You’re like a dynamic special ops recovery person. You're totally sensitive and have the [anonymous program]  active listening and true compassion characteristics. Combined with a little bit of adorable cheesiness (e.g. Flawsome). But then also like a tough guy old timer that’s gruff and doesn’t take shit from people."

- J

"I'm a minute and 22 seconds into your episode on Acceptance... I still have these [negative] thoughts...The solution: growth mindset and surrounding myself with this kind of information...thank you for doing this, definitely helps motivate me..."

- E

"Your podcast was a delight to listen to. Authenticity, sincerity starts within and re-parenting oneself with gentleness, humor, love and respect are the tools that fuels the process."

- A

"Full of useful, helpful guidance!!!! So, I say thank you for your efforts! It was not preachy at all - and I guard against 'preachiness.' ...Thank you for your efforts Barb."

- A.C

"I play [your podcasts] for people when I give them rides home from meetings. They find them awesome as I do...I am hoping to begin using your podcasts in groups at work - short enough to hold people's attention and wonderful topics that all can benefit from as we try to bring healing and freedom from suffering into the world...you are a delight and a noble soul. Thank you. Grateful for your commitment to help heal our planet."

- R

"If I had to describe it....I bathed in episodes 1-3 this morning and I feel much more prepared to engage in the tasks that will bring me success...thank you."

- V

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