Fragmented to Whole

Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery

This podcast can help you go from fragmented to whole. The title of the podcast comes from my journey of recovery in 12 step programs where I came in feeling fragmented and now I AM WHOLE. I talk about how that happened, and many of the lessons I've learned in recovery. I cover such topics as learning acceptance, overcoming unrealistic expectations, intimacy, forgiveness and boundaries.

All episodes are 20 minutes or less, most are less than 15. The first episode is my story in brief so you'll hear about the kind of profound life changes that I experienced in 12-step recovery. Other episodes cover specific topics such as Acceptance, Victim Mentality, Overcoming Negative Thought Loops, etc. You don't have to be in recovery to benefit from it though!

One last (very important) thing. I don't speak for or endorse any particular 12 step program of recovery. Though I'm a huge fan of 12 step recovery, and a member of two 12 step fellowships, I cannot speak them. Take what you want and leave the rest.

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Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery

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Episode 114: Here’s What Recovery Looks Like in Real Life – My Day at the Beach

SHOW NOTES Here’s a story of a variety of ways that recovery has shown up in my everyday life. It features a story from a day at the beach where I sat next to two people who were bitching and complaining. In the past, I would sat there and stewed and fumed and blamed them…

Episode 113: Boundaries without Consequences Aren’t Really Boundaries – They’re Hopes and Wishes

SHOW NOTES If you set a boundary with someone and they don’t honor, you have to do something about them not honoring it. “Doing something” is called a consequence. If you don’t do anything when someone doesn’t honor your boundary, then it wasn’t really a boundary, it was just a wish. Learn how to set…

Episode 112: How and Why to Go from an External Focus to an Internal Focus

SHOW NOTES Some people think that “it’s all about me” is the same as “keep the focus on yourself.” It’s not. They’re very different. Opposites, in fact. When we’re focused on the external world (“it’s all about me”), we’re more likely to be exasperated, resentful and unfulfilled. That’s because we can’t do much about the…

Episode 111: How and Why to Stop Dragging the Story with You

SHOW NOTES When I stopped gossiping, I realized that I’d been “dragging stories with me” all my life. And it was making me miserable! It’s  bad enough that negative stuff happens, but you MAGNIFY the negativity by talking about it all the time! You relive the negative events over and over each time you talk…

Episode 110: Guest Episode – Codependency with Gail

SHOW NOTES Gail Ferguson Jones is a recovering codependent and host of the podcast “The Buttrfly Effect” (no “e”), which is for families of addicts. She shares her experience having grown up with multiple generations of alcoholism and being married to an alcoholic.  Gail dropped all kinds of pearls of wisdom on this show. Here…

Episode 109: How to Stop Abandoning Yourself So You Can Get Over Your Fear of Abandonment

SHOW NOTES Most of us in recovery fear abandonment, yet ironically, most of us abandon ourselves. We do this because of the chaos and dysfunction with which we grew up. The key is to stop abandoning yourself, which essentially means to learn how to take good care of yourself. This is the essence of what…

Episode 108: How to Increase Your Integrity by Getting Clear on Your Intentions

SHOW NOTES Your integrity is impacted by your motives because our motives guide our behavior. We may THINK we’re doing something to be nice, when in fact we’re doing it to manipulate. This shatters our integrity because our intentions are not pure – we’re not living up to the spiritual principles we may think we…

Episode 107: The Importance of Boundaries in 12-Step Recovery: Learning from the Outside In

SHOW NOTES There are several means by which 12-step recovery programs impose boundaries on us. These include the Serenity Prayer, program slogans, several common meeting practices, as well as seven of the 12 Traditions. By having these healthy boundaries imposed from the outside first, we learn to form healthy boundaries of our from inside. The…

Episode 106: How to Overcome Victim Mentality Even If You’ve Been Victimized

SHOW NOTES People who have been victimized don’t necessarily take on the mentality of victimhood. That is, they’ve been through something, but they don’t always take on the identity of being a victim. Victims perceive themselves as not having choices. Victimization is about a situation; victimhood is an identity.  The way to overcome this mentality…

Episode 105: How to Turn Your Life Around: From Obstacles to Detours

SHOW NOTES The universe is FOR you, not against you. There is wisdom in the universe beyond your understanding. When things pop up that feel like they’re obstacles on your path, they’re really just detours. If you think back over your life you’ll see that to be true. Why wait to gain the perspective of…

Episode 104: How Fear and Telling the Truth Can Lead You to Wholeness

SHOW NOTES Hear my story of uncovering a fear that I could feel bubbling up like a pressure cooker. I managed that fear by telling the truth – and I didn’t die! (not kidding!). My pattern of dishonesty over the years reared it’s ugly head. Not giving into that fear and being honest about it…

Episode 103: How to Go from Black-and-White Thinking to Seeing the Gray

SHOW NOTES Most people in recovery have or have had lives filled with chaos on dysfunction. When we’re surrounded by chaos, we’re frequently “activated” as if on alert, which means it’s hard to think clearly. One of the ways our thinking gets distorted is that we see things only in stark contrast – like the…

What listeners are saying

"Barb, it's clear that you're speaking from your lived experience, and what you talk about is beyond the rooms of recovery. You actually operationalize recovery."

- C

"Barb. My goodness. I just finished your [One Day at a Time] podcast. It was incredible. Thank you....

So I've listened to your first podcast. I was connected to what you said especially how your life has changed.  PAUSE, which I've learned about and love. And flawsome. Amen...Thanks so much. You give hope. It was powerful...

Just listened to #2 Acceptance. Gonna have to listen again. It was powerful. What really comes across is your sincerity. Thanks."

- K

"Hey! Finally started listening  to your podcast. It’s really good.  I listen to over 1000 podcast probably in the past two years. Your shit is official. You’re totally Flawsome.  You’re like a dynamic special ops recovery person. You're totally sensitive and have the [anonymous program]  active listening and true compassion characteristics. Combined with a little bit of adorable cheesiness (e.g. Flawsome). But then also like a tough guy old timer that’s gruff and doesn’t take shit from people."

- J

"I'm a minute and 22 seconds into your episode on Acceptance... I still have these [negative] thoughts...The solution: growth mindset and surrounding myself with this kind of information...thank you for doing this, definitely helps motivate me..."

- E

"Your podcast was a delight to listen to. Authenticity, sincerity starts within and re-parenting oneself with gentleness, humor, love and respect are the tools that fuels the process."

- A

"Full of useful, helpful guidance!!!! So, I say thank you for your efforts! It was not preachy at all - and I guard against 'preachiness.' ...Thank you for your efforts Barb."

- A.C

"I play [your podcasts] for people when I give them rides home from meetings. They find them awesome as I do...I am hoping to begin using your podcasts in groups at work - short enough to hold people's attention and wonderful topics that all can benefit from as we try to bring healing and freedom from suffering into the world...you are a delight and a noble soul. Thank you. Grateful for your commitment to help heal our planet."

- R

"If I had to describe it....I bathed in episodes 1-3 this morning and I feel much more prepared to engage in the tasks that will bring me success...thank you."

- V

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