Fragmented to Whole

Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery

This podcast can help you go from fragmented to whole. The title of the podcast comes from my journey of recovery in 12 step programs where I came in feeling fragmented and now I AM WHOLE. I talk about how that happened, and many of the lessons I've learned in recovery. I cover such topics as learning acceptance, overcoming unrealistic expectations, intimacy, forgiveness and boundaries.

All episodes are 20 minutes or less, most are less than 15. The first episode is my story in brief so you'll hear about the kind of profound life changes that I experienced in 12-step recovery. Other episodes cover specific topics such as Acceptance, Victim Mentality, Overcoming Negative Thought Loops, etc. You don't have to be in recovery to benefit from it though!

One last (very important) thing. I don't speak for or endorse any particular 12 step program of recovery. Though I'm a huge fan of 12 step recovery, and a member of two 12 step fellowships, I cannot speak them. Take what you want and leave the rest.


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Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery

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Bonus #3: What to Do When You’re Triggered

SHOW NOTES Breathing deeply and engaging your senses are the best way to get into the present moment when you’re triggered. When you do that, you’re fully in your body in the here and now. You’re not in the past when you were little or when that traumatic thing happened. I walk you through two…

93: How to Overcome Your Sense of Urgency So You Can Relax

SHOW NOTES Living with a sense of urgency 24/7 is not something everyone feels. If you feel a sense of urgency at all times, like I did before recovery, I want you to know that it’s possible to stop living like that. Living with a sense of urgency all the time may be an indicator…

92: Two Kinds of Discomfort

SHOW NOTES In this episode I make the distinction between things that are uncomfortable that we’ve learned to put up with, especially if we grew up in chaos – and things that are uncomfortable because they’re new. I called this “bad” discomfort and “good” discomfort. The way to know which is which is to ask…

91: Blame

SHOW NOTES I share how I blamed others and the world for my difficulties before recovery, but I didn’t even know I was doing that! You’ll hear about the connection between self-pity, blame and victim mentality, as well as how to get out of it. Taking responsibility for your little corner of the world is…

90: Becoming Whole

SHOW NOTES Being whole means I’m no longer afraid to share the real me with others, I’m not hiding behind any facades any longer. In this episode I talk about all the various things that have contributed to my wholeness, including loving myself and setting boundaries. I also talk about how wholeness doesn’t mean bad…

89: Anonymity

SHOW NOTES I thought anonymity was about avoiding the stigma of being in 12 step recovery. It’s really about humility, which is what allows us to be teachable. When we are humble, we understand we’re no better and no worse than anyone else. It’s also about ensuring that each one of us has only one…

88: Expecting Fairness

SHOW NOTES We can have all the expectations of the world that we want, but we’ll likely be pissed off a lot if we do! This episode specifically addresses the issue of fairness, but the same principle could apply to any value you hold dearly. The idea is that, instead of getting pissed off that…

87: How to Attract Emotionally Available People

SHOW NOTES If you’ve been hiding behind various facades or masks and acting as if you like things you don’t, or that you’re comfortable with things you’re not – that’s not integrity. Being emotionally available requires vulnerability, which is not possible if you don’t have integrity (i.e., if your foundation is cracked). Emotionally available people…

86: The Serenity Prayer, Reimagined

SHOW NOTES The Serenity Prayer is one of the most popular prayers in the world, but I think the opening is backwards. I learned acceptance and THEN got serenity. I give an example of what I mean by that using traffic. I also talk about how the Serenity Prayer is essentially about learning where our…

85: 16 Reasons Why Sex Is Better in Recovery

SHOW NOTES Being comfortable in my own skin and not being mired in fear are two very important reasons why sex is sooooo much better in recovery than it was before recovery! Being able to be vulnerable with your partner and communicate directly also helps. Listen in to hear ways you might be able to…

What listeners are saying

"Barb, it's clear that you're speaking from your lived experience, and what you talk about is beyond the rooms of recovery. You actually operationalize recovery."

- C

"Barb. My goodness. I just finished your [One Day at a Time] podcast. It was incredible. Thank you....

So I've listened to your first podcast. I was connected to what you said especially how your life has changed.  PAUSE, which I've learned about and love. And flawsome. Amen...Thanks so much. You give hope. It was powerful...

Just listened to #2 Acceptance. Gonna have to listen again. It was powerful. What really comes across is your sincerity. Thanks."

- K

"Hey! Finally started listening  to your podcast. It’s really good.  I listen to over 1000 podcast probably in the past two years. Your shit is official. You’re totally Flawsome.  You’re like a dynamic special ops recovery person. You're totally sensitive and have the [anonymous program]  active listening and true compassion characteristics. Combined with a little bit of adorable cheesiness (e.g. Flawsome). But then also like a tough guy old timer that’s gruff and doesn’t take shit from people."

- J

"I'm a minute and 22 seconds into your episode on Acceptance... I still have these [negative] thoughts...The solution: growth mindset and surrounding myself with this kind of information...thank you for doing this, definitely helps motivate me..."

- E

"Your podcast was a delight to listen to. Authenticity, sincerity starts within and re-parenting oneself with gentleness, humor, love and respect are the tools that fuels the process."

- A

"Full of useful, helpful guidance!!!! So, I say thank you for your efforts! It was not preachy at all - and I guard against 'preachiness.' ...Thank you for your efforts Barb."

- A.C

"I play [your podcasts] for people when I give them rides home from meetings. They find them awesome as I do...I am hoping to begin using your podcasts in groups at work - short enough to hold people's attention and wonderful topics that all can benefit from as we try to bring healing and freedom from suffering into the are a delight and a noble soul. Thank you. Grateful for your commitment to help heal our planet."

- R

"If I had to describe it....I bathed in episodes 1-3 this morning and I feel much more prepared to engage in the tasks that will bring me success...thank you."

- V

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