Fragmented to Whole

Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery

This podcast can help you go from fragmented to whole. The title of the podcast comes from my journey of recovery in 12 step programs where I came in feeling fragmented and now I AM WHOLE. I talk about how that happened, and many of the lessons I've learned in recovery. I cover such topics as learning acceptance, overcoming unrealistic expectations, intimacy, forgiveness and boundaries.

All episodes are 20 minutes or less, most are less than 15. The first episode is my story in brief so you'll hear about the kind of profound life changes that I experienced in 12-step recovery. Other episodes cover specific topics such as Acceptance, Victim Mentality, Overcoming Negative Thought Loops, etc. You don't have to be in recovery to benefit from it though!

One last (very important) thing. I don't speak for or endorse any particular 12 step program of recovery. Though I'm a huge fan of 12 step recovery, and a member of two 12 step fellowships, I cannot speak them. Take what you want and leave the rest.

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Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery

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Episode 149: How Surrender Leads to Victory Not Loss

I heard someone talking about their journey to starting recovery and how they didn’t ever want to surrender anything because that would mean that they would lose. I don’t believe that surrender in recovery means you lose, so I wanted to bring it to you this week. That’s why episode 149 of the Fragmented to…

Episode 148: How to Stop Being Attached to Outcomes – You Don’t Get to Have your Curiosity Satisfied

I used to believe that if I was curious about something, I deserved to have it satisfied, or I needed to have my curiosity satisfied. Something I learned through recovery is that I don’t have to or need to have it satisfied; I’m able to NOT get closure on things. I think my strong desire to know…

Episode 147: You Are Not Alone – There Are Others Just Like You

One of the most powerful lessons you can learn in recovery is that you are not alone. It was recently reinforced after receiving a Postsecret email. Frank’s story of how he created Postsecret and why is incredibly moving. That’s why episode 147 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about understanding that you are not…

Episode 146: Stop F-ing Blaming Other People and Keep the Focus on Yourself

I titled this episode as if it’s a command, but it’s really an option. You get to choose to stop putting the blame on others. If everyone else really is to blame for everything wrong in your life; you may as well crawl under a rock because you have no options. I don’t believe this…

Episode 145: How to Stop Worrying About Others’ Opinions

Years before recovery I was part of a spiritual sharing circle. One of the people who was part of that same sharing circle had been in AA for a long time, and one of the things he said all the time was, “It’s none of your business what other people think of you,”. It took…

Episode 144: You have Choices – How to End your Suffering by Lowering your Expectations

I got a message from a long-time listener asking for this topic in a podcast episode because she could really use some guidance on lowering your expectations. Turns out, I have 4 episodes on lowering expectations, and it’s been a huge part of my recovery and a foundational piece to my sobriety. That’s why episode…

Episode 143: If I Am Disturbed, There’s Something Wrong with Me

There is a saying in step 10 of the AA 12 steps and 12 traditional books that I share with clients all the time, which has also been super helpful in my own recovery. A lot of people assume it means that they are always in the wrong, which isn’t true at all. That’s why…

Episode 142: How a Dump Truck Taught Me Compassion for My Father

Have you ever explained that the reason someone acts the way they do is simply because they are a dick? That’s exactly what I said about my father until a dump truck changed my perspective. One day as I was driving home from a recovery meeting, I saw a dump truck with two bumper stickers.…

Episode 141: You are Responsible TO Your Feelings, Not FOR Your Feelings

I first heard the phrase, “You are responsible TO your feelings, not FOR your feelings,” from the book by Cheri Huber, There Is Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate. While I didn’t understand what it meant until I went through recovery, I now appreciate this phrase a lot. That’s why episode 141 of the Fragmented…

Episode 140: Loving Someone Through Addiction with Jane Macky

I met Jane Macky professionally through the Innovation to Impact project through Yale. When I heard her story I knew she had to be on the podcast.  That’s why episode 140 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about loving someone through addiction!  In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, Jane and I…

Episode 139: How You Can Go From Hating Hope to Loving Hope with One Simple Practice

The most important thing that I want to give you through this podcast is hope. I want you to have hope because I know from personal experience what it’s like to be without hope. That’s why episode 139 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how you can go from hating hope to loving…

Episode 138: Setting Boundaries around Family – when they love hiking, and you hate it

I wanted to share the message I got from a client that I believe that a lot of you will resonate with, and really how this message truly shows how to live your life on purpose. When we have healthy boundaries, we learn to trust ourselves and feel integral. When we are whole, we don’t…

What listeners are saying

"Barb, it's clear that you're speaking from your lived experience, and what you talk about is beyond the rooms of recovery. You actually operationalize recovery."

- C

"Barb. My goodness. I just finished your [One Day at a Time] podcast. It was incredible. Thank you....

So I've listened to your first podcast. I was connected to what you said especially how your life has changed.  PAUSE, which I've learned about and love. And flawsome. Amen...Thanks so much. You give hope. It was powerful...

Just listened to #2 Acceptance. Gonna have to listen again. It was powerful. What really comes across is your sincerity. Thanks."

- K

"Hey! Finally started listening  to your podcast. It’s really good.  I listen to over 1000 podcast probably in the past two years. Your shit is official. You’re totally Flawsome.  You’re like a dynamic special ops recovery person. You're totally sensitive and have the [anonymous program]  active listening and true compassion characteristics. Combined with a little bit of adorable cheesiness (e.g. Flawsome). But then also like a tough guy old timer that’s gruff and doesn’t take shit from people."

- J

"I'm a minute and 22 seconds into your episode on Acceptance... I still have these [negative] thoughts...The solution: growth mindset and surrounding myself with this kind of information...thank you for doing this, definitely helps motivate me..."

- E

"Your podcast was a delight to listen to. Authenticity, sincerity starts within and re-parenting oneself with gentleness, humor, love and respect are the tools that fuels the process."

- A

"Full of useful, helpful guidance!!!! So, I say thank you for your efforts! It was not preachy at all - and I guard against 'preachiness.' ...Thank you for your efforts Barb."

- A.C

"I play [your podcasts] for people when I give them rides home from meetings. They find them awesome as I do...I am hoping to begin using your podcasts in groups at work - short enough to hold people's attention and wonderful topics that all can benefit from as we try to bring healing and freedom from suffering into the world...you are a delight and a noble soul. Thank you. Grateful for your commitment to help heal our planet."

- R

"If I had to describe it....I bathed in episodes 1-3 this morning and I feel much more prepared to engage in the tasks that will bring me success...thank you."

- V

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