Listen to Fragmented to Whole:Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery
84: Don’t Carpet the World
SHOW NOTES“It’s easier to put slippers on your feet than to carpet the world” is a Chinese proverb. The carpet metaphor is used in this episode to illustrate the issue of control. I talk about how we can learn to stop trying to control others (carpet the world) and work on controlling ourselves (put slippers…
83: Flawesome!
SHOW NOTES In this episode I talk about moving away from the black-and-white thinking that if we’re flawed, that means we’re not awesome. It’s perfectly normal to be flawed, and it’s ok to let others see your flaws. When you accept your own flaws, you’ll become more accepting of other people’s flaws too! If you…
82: You Don’t Have to Believe Your Thoughts!
SHOW NOTES You don’t have to believe the thoughts running through your head! This pertains to thoughts about yourself (like “I’m not enough”) as well as thoughts about others and the world. If you’re not choosing your thoughts *on purpose,* especially if they’re negative – think again! You don’t have to believe a thought just…
81: Something Came Up vs. Something Happened
SHOW NOTES When someone doesn’t show up when expected, we might be tempted to think, “something happened!” This usually has a negative connotation, like they were in an accident. However, when we think, “something came up” it’s neutral and not likely to send is into a tailspin of negativity and anxiety. You can purposely choose…
80: How to Enjoy the Holidays by Setting Boundaries Now
SHOW NOTES You don’t have to do things you don’t want to over the holidays! This includes attending events, exchanging gifts, spending money or having uncomfortable conversations. You’ll learn a variety of tips for setting boundaries for the holidays, including some specific scripts so use and scenarios in which to use them. I also recommend…
79: Terminal Uniqueness
SHOW NOTES Many of us come into recovery believing we’re “terminally unique” or that we’re “uniquely flawed.” What we learn is that we’re NOT terminally unique, and that there are many are many others like us. You are not alone, there are many others like you, and you DO belong. Here’s the link to my…
78: New Possibilities
SHOW NOTES The ability to believe in new possibilities is at the heart of our ability to change. Gaining a new perspective on our lives and our problems opens us up to new possibilities. The way we think about things is often the source of our difficulties, rather than the situations themselves. If you’d like…
77: Getting Rid of Expectations After the Fact
Show Notes Sometimes we don’t realize we even had an expectation until it wasn’t met. Whether that’s true for you, or you KNOW you had an expectation about something, you’ll learn how to “unhook” from those expectations even after the situation is over! This will melt your resentment about not having your expectation met. Please…
76: Reducing Emotional Pain
Show Notes This episode covers several ways to reduce your emotional pain. It covers how to take advantage of the power of your “thinking brain” to help you clean up your negative thinking; practicing self care and connecting with others. Please follow me on Instagram @HigherPowerCoaching, and check out my podcast website fragmentedtowhole.com. Be sure…
75: Becoming Entirely Ready to Change Your Life
If you’re sick and tired of your life and want to make changes, this episode will take you through a process to do that. Show Notes If you are truly committed to changing your ways, this episode is for you! The process of changing our lives is what 12 step recovery is all about. In…
74: Privacy vs. Secrecy
If you’re confused about the difference between what’s private and what’s secret, this episode will help clear that up. Show Notes In this episode, I clear up the distinction between what’s private and what’s secret. Private matters have to do with setting healthy boundaries. Secrets have to do with hiding our shame. I use the…
73: Understanding Natural Consequences
Natural consequences are the inevitable result of a person’s actions and I explain how enabling gets in the way of this. Show NotesThe natural consequences of negative behavior are typically negative. However, many people buffer, block or filter the consequences of other’s behavior by enabling them. Enabling is when we fix, solve, or make the…
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"Barb, it's clear that you're speaking from your lived experience, and what you talk about is beyond the rooms of recovery. You actually operationalize recovery."
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"Thank you, Barb! Listening to your podcast gave me hope that you could help me.
Framing everything through the lens of “boundaries” made sense to me. Something “clicked.” I realized many of my own struggles – maybe all of them – could be seen through the same lens. I also felt – after bingeing your podcasts – that I already knew you and that you were a straight shooter. You experienced many of the challenges that I was facing, and I greatly appreciated your willingness to share openly and honestly. And I was so encouraged to hear you talk about how much better your life is after starting your own recovery journey." ~ K