How to Move from Wishing for Change to Actually Making It Happen

Issue 129. August 15, 2025 ✨ Higher Power Coaching & Consulting ✨

If you’re in 12-step recovery, the phrase “entirely ready” might sound familiar because it comes from Step 6. But even if you’re not in recovery, this concept can be life-changing. It is about getting to the place where you’re truly willing to do what it takes to change, no matter how uncomfortable it might be.

For many of us, “entirely ready” comes after we have hit some kind of bottom, when life has gotten so hard that we cannot bear to keep going the way we have. It might be the result of a major event, or it might come from the slow grind of frustration and exhaustion over time. Either way, something shifts inside, and we know: it cannot keep going like this.

That is when readiness becomes real.

Why “Entirely Ready” Is More Than Just Wanting to Change

Wanting to change is easy. Being ready to change means you have looked at what is not working in your life, been honest about how your own behaviors contribute to the problem, and thought through what you will need to do differently, even when your brain throws up every excuse in the book not to follow through.

If you have ever tried to break an old pattern, you already know how quickly your mind will try to talk you out of it. That is why I remind myself that obstacles are not signs to stop. They are detours. It is as if the universe is saying, “There is construction on that road, take this one instead.” It’s akin to Google Maps say, “Rerouting…rerouting…retrouting.”

Being entirely ready means you have anticipated those detours before they appear, and you have made a plan for how to keep moving instead of letting them knock you off track.

My Step 6 Experience: Brutal and Transformative

When I first worked Step 6 with my sponsor, she had me choose my four most destructive character defects and make two lists:

• What each defect was doing for me — the benefits I thought I was getting
• What each defect was doing to me — the ways it was damaging my life

It is not fun to face the truth about how you have been harming yourself and others. But seeing those two columns side by side was powerful. It helped me step out of victim mentality and own my part in creating the pain in my life.

One of my top defects was gossip. On the “for me” side, gossip let me feel superior and avoid looking at my own stuff. On the “to me” side, gossip magnified drama, destroyed trust, and kept me from directly addressing problems.

When I stopped gossiping, I saw the ripple effects everywhere: less resentment, fewer conflicts, and a whole lot more peace.

How I Practiced Being “Entirely Ready”

The next exercise was the game changer:

For each defect, I wrote out ten real-life scenarios where I had acted on that defect. Then I rewrote each one with what I would have done if I were entirely ready to let it go.

For gossip, the alternative action I wrote most often was something my sponsor taught me: Bless them, change me. It is a mini version of the Serenity Prayer, laser-focused on shifting me away from judgment and into self-change.

This “act as if” practice taught me I did not have to wait to feel different before I behaved differently. I could choose new actions now, and the feelings would follow.

Why This Process Works Outside of Recovery, Too

You do not have to be in a 12-step program to use this process. Here is how you can apply it:

1. Identify the behavior or mindset that is holding you back
2. Write down what it is doing for you and to you
3. List real examples of when you acted from that place
4. Rewrite each one with how you would act if you were entirely ready to change it
5. Practice “acting as if” — even when you do not feel ready

If you’re serious about creating change, this will give you a clear map for what that actually looks like in daily life.

When I finished my Step 6 work, I told my sponsor I felt like I would be exposed and vulnerable without my old ways of coping — they were so ingrained in who I was. But here is the truth I learned: they were not me. And I was more than fine without them.

Being entirely ready is not about perfection. It is about showing up for yourself with willingness, clarity, and action, even when it is uncomfortable. And if you’re not willing to do the work, then you’re not entirely ready yet.

But when you are, the changes can be profound.