In a recent episode, I mentioned that I had a whole cascade of memories and understanding that I have experienced some level of trauma in every job I had before recovery. Upon reflection, I know the role my dysfunctional upbringing has played in my workplace experiences. This week’s episode 205 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about the 24 ways adult child traits show up in the workplace!
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In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing a chapter of the ACA fellowship text, affectionately known as the “Big Red Book”. Chapter 14 is called “Taking Our Program to Work” and details how the traits of adult children of alcoholics and dysfunctional families show up in the workplace.
The first 12 items of the “Working at the Laundromat” list are as follows:
- We confuse our boss or supervisor with our alcoholic parent(s) or qualifier and have similar relationship patterns, behaviors, and reactions that are carryovers from childhood.
- We confuse our co-workers with our siblings or our alcoholic parent(s) and repeat childhood reactions in those working relationships.
- We expect lavish praise and acknowledgment from our boss for our efforts on the job.
- Authority figures scare us and we feel afraid when we need to talk to them.
- We get a negative “gut reaction” when dealing with someone who has the physical characteristics or mannerisms of our alcoholic qualifier.
- We have felt isolated and different from everyone around us, but we don’t know why.
- We lose our temper when things upset us rather than dealing with problems productively.
- We busy ourselves with our co-workers’ jobs, often telling them how to do their work.
- We can get hurt feelings when co-workers do things socially together without asking us, even though we have not made an effort to get to know them and join in the social life.
- We are afraid to make the first move to get to know a co-worker better, thinking they will not like us or approve of us.
- We usually do not know how to ask for what we want or need on the job, even for little things.
- We do not know how to speak up for ourselves when someone has said or done something inappropriate. We try desperately to avoid face-to-face confrontations.
Stay tuned for episode 206 where I share items 13-24 from the list!
Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.
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