Stop Falling in Love with People’s Potential and Fall in Love With Yours

Issue 14. March 3, 2023 ✨ Higher Power Coaching & Consulting

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Stop falling in love with other people’s potential. Start paying attention to the person who’s right there in front of you, right now. It doesn’t matter if this a romantic interest, family member, colleague or your student.

There’s a difference between helping out people who have high potential, follow through on their own and have asked for your assistance. That’s not what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about having standards in your life and communicating those standards to other people.

This is what boundaries are – they’re standards for your life and (hopefully) you communicate them to others. If someone is not able to meet your standards, don’t lower your standards! Lower your tolerance for people who don’t live up to your standards!!

If someone has lots of potential, they might live up to their potential one day. But maybe they won’t.

When we fall in love with people’s potential, we’re looking at the person as if they’re a project. And like it’s our job to be the project manager for their life. It’s your job to make sure you live up to your potential. THAT’s your job!

You are not going to be able to live up to your own potential if you’re putting all of that energy, time and effort into someone else.

Everybody has their own path. It’s not up to you to decide what anybody else’s path is. Every person who has ever been born is teeming with potential. Stop expecting people to live up to their potential. That’s an unreasonable expectation.

Lower your expectations of people who aren’t living up to their potential (or at least your idea of what their potential is).

Dating coach Matthew Hussey said something that really struck me when it comes to falling in love with the potential of prospective mates:

“You shouldn’t have to time travel to date someone.”

If someone isn’t dateable right now, then don’t date them! Because right now is when you’d be dating them.

Whether it comes to dating or other kinds of relationships, stop falling in love with other people’s potential. Keep the focus on yourself and fall in love with your potential!

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