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Friday Fragments

Newsletter Archive

"Friday Fragments" - grounded insights, honest stories, and practical tools to help you stop abandoning yourself and create real internal safety

Your Motives Matter for You but Not for Other People

Jul 28, 2023

Issue 33. July 28, 2023 ✨ Higher Power Coaching & Consulting ✨ photo credit: Colen Meg One of the most important questions I’ve learned to ask myself when trying to decide what the right thing is for me to do is, “What are my motives?” I came to see that my motives for helping people…

How to Overcome the Tendency to Make Things Mean Things That They Don’t

Jul 21, 2023

Issue 32. July 21, 2023 ✨ Higher Power Coaching & Consulting ✨ photo credit: Christian Rucinski Have you been making things mean things that they don’t? I used to do that all the time. Typically, I’d decide someone’s behavior I didn’t like meant something about me. Something negative, that is. Then I’d act as if the meaning…

Empower Yourself and Gain Energy by Shifting Focus to What You Can Control

Jul 14, 2023

Issue 31. July 14, 2023 ✨ Higher Power Coaching & Consulting ✨ This image was inspired by management guru Stephen Covey who introduced the concept of Circles of Concern versus Circles of Control. I love it for so many reasons, including that it’s really helpful for visual learners. If you want to live your life on purpose and be…

You Can Do Hard Things – I Know This Because You’re Already Doing It!

Jul 7, 2023

Issue 30. July 7, 2023 ✨ Higher Power Coaching & Consulting ✨ photo credit: Alexei Maridashvili If you follow my writing, speaking or podcasting, it’s probably because you want your life to be better. That is, you want something (or things) to change in your life. Trying to make changes in your lifelong habits is hard.…

How to Understand the Difference Between Isolation and Healthy Alone Time and Why It’s Important

Jun 30, 2023

Issue 29. June 30, 2023 ✨ Higher Power Coaching & Consulting ✨ photo credit: Hannah Busing I’ve lived alone most of my adult life and I got really good at isolation. That’s how I dealt with my fears and anxieties for decades before recovery. I indulged in my various addictions and compulsions in isolation, though…

What the Saying “If I’m Disturbed There’s Something Wrong with Me” Means

Jun 23, 2023

Issue 28. June 23, 2023 ✨ Higher Power Coaching & Consulting ✨ photo credit: Mason Wilkes “It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us.” – The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous When I first read this quote I thought, “fuck…

11 Hallmarks of Enmeshed Relationships and Three Ways to Get Out Of Them

Jun 16, 2023

Issue 27. June 16, 2023 ✨ Higher Power Coaching & Consulting ✨ photo credit: Kamran Abdullayev When we’re enmeshed, we aren’t allowed to express our individuality and we aren’t capable of focusing on ourselves. We’re overly concerned with other people. We may think we’re involved in life, but we’re really not involved in our own…

The Game-Changing Term I Learned in Recovery: “Info, Not Ammo”

Jun 9, 2023

Issue 26. June 9, 2023 ✨ Higher Power Coaching & Consulting ✨ One of the most important concepts I learned in recovery is “info, not ammo.” That is, when you learn something negative about yourself, don’t use it as ammunition to beat yourself up, use it as information to learn, incorporate and grow from. This…

Here’s How to Understand the Difference Between Humility and Humiliation

Jun 2, 2023

Issue 25. June 2, 2023 ✨ Higher Power Coaching & Consulting ✨ photo credit: Kamran Abdullayev People often confuse humility with humiliation. It makes sense because they sound quite similar. But they’re not! I’ll start with humiliation because I’m not going to spend a lot of time on that in this essay. Humiliation is when you feel…

Who Is 12 Step Recovery For? What Are Physical and Process Addictions?

May 26, 2023

Issue 24. May 26, 2023 ✨ Higher Power Coaching & Consulting ✨ 12 Step recovery is for people with either a physical or process addiction. Physical addiction is when there’s some kind of substance we’re physically dependent on, like alcohol, drugs or food. A process addiction is when we have a compulsion to engage consistently…