Posts by Rosa Carrasco-Vergara
Episode 114: Here’s What Recovery Looks Like in Real Life – My Day at the Beach
SHOW NOTES Here’s a story of a variety of ways that recovery has shown up in my everyday life. It features a story from a day at the beach where I sat next to two people who were bitching and complaining. In the past, I would sat there and stewed and fumed and blamed them…
Read MoreEpisode 113: Boundaries without Consequences Aren’t Really Boundaries – They’re Hopes and Wishes
SHOW NOTES If you set a boundary with someone and they don’t honor, you have to do something about them not honoring it. “Doing something” is called a consequence. If you don’t do anything when someone doesn’t honor your boundary, then it wasn’t really a boundary, it was just a wish. Learn how to set…
Read MoreEpisode 112: How and Why to Go from an External Focus to an Internal Focus
SHOW NOTES Some people think that “it’s all about me” is the same as “keep the focus on yourself.” It’s not. They’re very different. Opposites, in fact. When we’re focused on the external world (“it’s all about me”), we’re more likely to be exasperated, resentful and unfulfilled. That’s because we can’t do much about the…
Read MoreEpisode 111: How and Why to Stop Dragging the Story with You
SHOW NOTES When I stopped gossiping, I realized that I’d been “dragging stories with me” all my life. And it was making me miserable! It’s bad enough that negative stuff happens, but you MAGNIFY the negativity by talking about it all the time! You relive the negative events over and over each time you talk…
Read MoreEpisode 110: Guest Episode – Codependency with Gail
SHOW NOTES Gail Ferguson Jones is a recovering codependent and host of the podcast “The Buttrfly Effect” (no “e”), which is for families of addicts. She shares her experience having grown up with multiple generations of alcoholism and being married to an alcoholic. Gail dropped all kinds of pearls of wisdom on this show. Here…
Read MoreEpisode 109: How to Stop Abandoning Yourself So You Can Get Over Your Fear of Abandonment
SHOW NOTES Most of us in recovery fear abandonment, yet ironically, most of us abandon ourselves. We do this because of the chaos and dysfunction with which we grew up. The key is to stop abandoning yourself, which essentially means to learn how to take good care of yourself. This is the essence of what…
Read MoreEpisode 108: How to Increase Your Integrity by Getting Clear on Your Intentions
SHOW NOTES Your integrity is impacted by your motives because our motives guide our behavior. We may THINK we’re doing something to be nice, when in fact we’re doing it to manipulate. This shatters our integrity because our intentions are not pure – we’re not living up to the spiritual principles we may think we…
Read MoreEpisode 107: The Importance of Boundaries in 12-Step Recovery: Learning from the Outside In
SHOW NOTES There are several means by which 12-step recovery programs impose boundaries on us. These include the Serenity Prayer, program slogans, several common meeting practices, as well as seven of the 12 Traditions. By having these healthy boundaries imposed from the outside first, we learn to form healthy boundaries of our from inside. The…
Read MoreEpisode 106: How to Overcome Victim Mentality Even If You’ve Been Victimized
SHOW NOTES People who have been victimized don’t necessarily take on the mentality of victimhood. That is, they’ve been through something, but they don’t always take on the identity of being a victim. Victims perceive themselves as not having choices. Victimization is about a situation; victimhood is an identity. The way to overcome this mentality…
Read MoreEpisode 105: How to Turn Your Life Around: From Obstacles to Detours
SHOW NOTES The universe is FOR you, not against you. There is wisdom in the universe beyond your understanding. When things pop up that feel like they’re obstacles on your path, they’re really just detours. If you think back over your life you’ll see that to be true. Why wait to gain the perspective of…
Read More