Posts by Barb Nangle

SHOW NOTES It’s a paradox that the more we let go, the stronger our boundaries become. This is because controlling others is impossible, but controlling ourselves is not. When we are focused on others and situations out of our control, we become fixated on our desired outcome and have no choices. When we let go,…

SHOW NOTES Breathing deeply and engaging your senses are the best way to get into the present moment when you’re triggered. When you do that, you’re fully in your body in the here and now. You’re not in the past when you were little or when that traumatic thing happened. I walk you through two…

SHOW NOTES Living with a sense of urgency 24/7 is not something everyone feels. If you feel a sense of urgency at all times, like I did before recovery, I want you to know that it’s possible to stop living like that. Living with a sense of urgency all the time may be an indicator…

SHOW NOTES In this episode I make the distinction between things that are uncomfortable that we’ve learned to put up with, especially if we grew up in chaos – and things that are uncomfortable because they’re new. I called this “bad” discomfort and “good” discomfort. The way to know which is which is to ask…

SHOW NOTES I share how I blamed others and the world for my difficulties before recovery, but I didn’t even know I was doing that! You’ll hear about the connection between self-pity, blame and victim mentality, as well as how to get out of it. Taking responsibility for your little corner of the world is…

SHOW NOTES Being whole means I’m no longer afraid to share the real me with others, I’m not hiding behind any facades any longer. In this episode I talk about all the various things that have contributed to my wholeness, including loving myself and setting boundaries. I also talk about how wholeness doesn’t mean bad…

SHOW NOTES I thought anonymity was about avoiding the stigma of being in 12 step recovery. It’s really about humility, which is what allows us to be teachable. When we are humble, we understand we’re no better and no worse than anyone else. It’s also about ensuring that each one of us has only one…

SHOW NOTES We can have all the expectations of the world that we want, but we’ll likely be pissed off a lot if we do! This episode specifically addresses the issue of fairness, but the same principle could apply to any value you hold dearly. The idea is that, instead of getting pissed off that…

SHOW NOTES If you’ve been hiding behind various facades or masks and acting as if you like things you don’t, or that you’re comfortable with things you’re not – that’s not integrity. Being emotionally available requires vulnerability, which is not possible if you don’t have integrity (i.e., if your foundation is cracked). Emotionally available people…

SHOW NOTES The Serenity Prayer is one of the most popular prayers in the world, but I think the opening is backwards. I learned acceptance and THEN got serenity. I give an example of what I mean by that using traffic. I also talk about how the Serenity Prayer is essentially about learning where our…