Posts by Barb Nangle

SHOW NOTES In this episode I make the distinction between things that are uncomfortable that we’ve learned to put up with, especially if we grew up in chaos – and things that are uncomfortable because they’re new. I called this “bad” discomfort and “good” discomfort. The way to know which is which is to ask…

SHOW NOTES I share how I blamed others and the world for my difficulties before recovery, but I didn’t even know I was doing that! You’ll hear about the connection between self-pity, blame and victim mentality, as well as how to get out of it. Taking responsibility for your little corner of the world is…

SHOW NOTES Being whole means I’m no longer afraid to share the real me with others, I’m not hiding behind any facades any longer. In this episode I talk about all the various things that have contributed to my wholeness, including loving myself and setting boundaries. I also talk about how wholeness doesn’t mean bad…

SHOW NOTES I thought anonymity was about avoiding the stigma of being in 12 step recovery. It’s really about humility, which is what allows us to be teachable. When we are humble, we understand we’re no better and no worse than anyone else. It’s also about ensuring that each one of us has only one…

SHOW NOTES We can have all the expectations of the world that we want, but we’ll likely be pissed off a lot if we do! This episode specifically addresses the issue of fairness, but the same principle could apply to any value you hold dearly. The idea is that, instead of getting pissed off that…

SHOW NOTES If you’ve been hiding behind various facades or masks and acting as if you like things you don’t, or that you’re comfortable with things you’re not – that’s not integrity. Being emotionally available requires vulnerability, which is not possible if you don’t have integrity (i.e., if your foundation is cracked). Emotionally available people…

SHOW NOTES The Serenity Prayer is one of the most popular prayers in the world, but I think the opening is backwards. I learned acceptance and THEN got serenity. I give an example of what I mean by that using traffic. I also talk about how the Serenity Prayer is essentially about learning where our…

SHOW NOTES Being comfortable in my own skin and not being mired in fear are two very important reasons why sex is sooooo much better in recovery than it was before recovery! Being able to be vulnerable with your partner and communicate directly also helps. Listen in to hear ways you might be able to…

SHOW NOTES “It’s easier to put slippers on your feet than to carpet the world” is a Chinese proverb. The carpet metaphor is used in this episode to illustrate the issue of control. I talk about how we can learn to stop trying to control others (carpet the world) and work on controlling ourselves (put…

SHOW NOTES In this episode I talk about moving away from the black-and-white thinking that if we’re flawed, that means we’re not awesome. It’s perfectly normal to be flawed, and it’s ok to let others see your flaws. When you accept your own flaws, you’ll become more accepting of other people’s flaws too! If you…