Posts by Barb Nangle
Why You Change Your Mind the Moment Someone Pushes Back
photo credit: Peter Law This is part of The Hidden Mechanics of Boundaries, a limited series about what happens under the surface before, during, and after a boundary. Before I had boundaries, I could spend an enormous amount of time preparing for a conversation that hadn’t even happened yet. I’d think through every objection the…
Read MoreWhy Someone Else’s Disappointment Feels Like Proof You’re Wrong
photo credit: Vitaly Gariev This is part of The Hidden Mechanics of Boundaries, a limited series about what happens under the surface before, during, and after a boundary. For a long time, I thought I was just a nice, kind, thoughtful, helpful person. I gave a lot. I helped people solve their problems. I tried…
Read MoreWhy You Keep Explaining After You’ve Already Given an Answer
photo credit: Look Studio This is part of The Hidden Mechanics of Boundaries, a limited series about what happens under the surface before, during, and after a boundary. You’ve told someone you can’t do what they’re asking. Your answer is clear, and you’ve given them the information they need. But then there’s a pause. Maybe…
Read MoreWhy Caring About Someone Can Turn Into Carrying Their Feelings
photo credit: Curated Lifestyle This is part of The Hidden Mechanics of Boundaries, a limited series about what happens under the surface before, during, and after a boundary. When someone you love is upset, something inside you shifts. Perhaps your partner’s disappointed that you’ve made plans without them. Or maybe a family member’s overwhelmed and…
Read MoreHow to Go from Victim to Discernment: Reclaiming the Power to Choose
Issue 124, June 20, 2025 ✨ Higher Power Coaching & Consulting ✨ Recovery Is About Learning That You Have Choices Recovery, at its core, is about reclaiming the ability to choose. If you think about it, addiction and compulsion are the opposite of choice. So when we begin the recovery journey, we’re moving toward choice,…
Read MoreWhy Being Helpful, Responsible, and Kind Can Become Self-Abandonment
image credit: Chat GPT This is part of The Hidden Mechanics of Boundaries, a limited series about what happens under the surface before, during, and after a boundary. Someone asks whether you can help with something. You’re already tired. Your calendar is full, you have priorities of your own, and you may even feel your…
Read MoreWhy You Can Know Exactly What You Need and Still Disappear in the Moment
photo credit: Curated Lifestyle This is part of The Hidden Mechanics of Boundaries, a limited series about what happens under the surface before, during, and after a boundary. Article 2 of 10 You can walk into a conversation knowing exactly what you need. You’ve thought it through, written it down, and perhaps even practiced what…
Read MoreWhy You Say Yes Before You’ve Actually Decided
photo credit: Getty Images This is part of The Hidden Mechanics of Boundaries, a limited series about what happens under the surface before, during, and after a boundary. Article 1 of 10. Someone asks if you can help with something, attend something, take something on, or change your plans for them. Before you’ve considered your…
Read More20 Years Ago Today My Brother Pat Died
June 20, 2026 ✨ Higher Power Coaching & Consulting ✨ 20 years ago today, my brother Pat died. He was 35. He was my “little brother“ (even though he was much taller and bigger than me). He died of Legionaire’s Disease, which only about 5% of people who get it do. He was severely debilitated…
Read MoreHow Do I Stop Over-Giving Without Being Selfish?
May 20, 2026 ✨ Higher Power Coaching & Consulting ✨ One of the biggest fears people have when they begin setting boundaries is this: “What if I become selfish?” They worry that if they stop over-giving, over-functioning, people-pleasing, and putting everyone else first, they’ll somehow become cold, uncaring, or self-centered. But in my experience, selfishness…
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