Fragmented to Whole
Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery
Tired of feeling fragmented and overwhelmed? Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12-Step Recovery is your guide to creating a life of wholeness, authenticity, and healthy boundaries. Join Barb Nangle, a boundaries coach and speaker, as she shares raw and honest insights from her own journey and the principles of 12-step recovery. Discover how to set boundaries without guilt or shame, overcome people-pleasing tendencies, manage your emotions effectively, cultivate a stronger sense of self, and build healthier relationships. Barb's approach is raw, honest, and sometimes a little bit (okay, a lot) sweary.
Barb doesn't speak for or endorse any particular 12 step program of recovery. Though she's a huge fan of 12 step recovery, and a member of two 12 step fellowships, she cannot speak for them. If you're ready for real talk and practical tools for transformation, tune in!
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Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery
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90: Becoming Whole
SHOW NOTES Being whole means I’m no longer afraid to share the real me with others, I’m not hiding behind any facades any longer. In this episode I talk about all the various things that have contributed to my wholeness, including loving myself and setting boundaries. I also talk about how wholeness doesn’t mean bad…
89: Anonymity
SHOW NOTES I thought anonymity was about avoiding the stigma of being in 12 step recovery. It’s really about humility, which is what allows us to be teachable. When we are humble, we understand we’re no better and no worse than anyone else. It’s also about ensuring that each one of us has only one…
88: Expecting Fairness
SHOW NOTES We can have all the expectations of the world that we want, but we’ll likely be pissed off a lot if we do! This episode specifically addresses the issue of fairness, but the same principle could apply to any value you hold dearly. The idea is that, instead of getting pissed off that…
87: How to Attract Emotionally Available People
SHOW NOTES If you’ve been hiding behind various facades or masks and acting as if you like things you don’t, or that you’re comfortable with things you’re not – that’s not integrity. Being emotionally available requires vulnerability, which is not possible if you don’t have integrity (i.e., if your foundation is cracked). Emotionally available people…
86: The Serenity Prayer, Reimagined
SHOW NOTES The Serenity Prayer is one of the most popular prayers in the world, but I think the opening is backwards. I learned acceptance and THEN got serenity. I give an example of what I mean by that using traffic. I also talk about how the Serenity Prayer is essentially about learning where our…
85: 16 Reasons Why Sex Is Better in Recovery
SHOW NOTES Being comfortable in my own skin and not being mired in fear are two very important reasons why sex is sooooo much better in recovery than it was before recovery! Being able to be vulnerable with your partner and communicate directly also helps. Listen in to hear ways you might be able to…
84: Don’t Carpet the World
SHOW NOTES “It’s easier to put slippers on your feet than to carpet the world” is a Chinese proverb. The carpet metaphor is used in this episode to illustrate the issue of control. I talk about how we can learn to stop trying to control others (carpet the world) and work on controlling ourselves (put…
83: Flawesome!
SHOW NOTES In this episode I talk about moving away from the black-and-white thinking that if we’re flawed, that means we’re not awesome. It’s perfectly normal to be flawed, and it’s ok to let others see your flaws. When you accept your own flaws, you’ll become more accepting of other people’s flaws too! If you…
82: You Don’t Have to Believe Your Thoughts!
SHOW NOTES You don’t have to believe the thoughts running through your head! This pertains to thoughts about yourself (like “I’m not enough”) as well as thoughts about others and the world. If you’re not choosing your thoughts *on purpose,* especially if they’re negative – think again! You don’t have to believe a thought just…
81: Something Came Up vs. Something Happened
SHOW NOTES When someone doesn’t show up when expected, we might be tempted to think, “something happened!” This usually has a negative connotation, like they were in an accident. However, when we think, “something came up” it’s neutral and not likely to send is into a tailspin of negativity and anxiety. You can purposely choose…
80: How to Enjoy the Holidays by Setting Boundaries Now
SHOW NOTES You don’t have to do things you don’t want to over the holidays! This includes attending events, exchanging gifts, spending money or having uncomfortable conversations. You’ll learn a variety of tips for setting boundaries for the holidays, including some specific scripts so use and scenarios in which to use them. I also recommend…
79: Terminal Uniqueness
SHOW NOTES Many of us come into recovery believing we’re “terminally unique” or that we’re “uniquely flawed.” What we learn is that we’re NOT terminally unique, and that there are many are many others like us. You are not alone, there are many others like you, and you DO belong. Here’s the link to my…
What listeners are saying
"Barb, it's clear that you're speaking from your lived experience, and what you talk about is beyond the rooms of recovery. You actually operationalize recovery."
- C
"Your podcast was a delight to listen to. Authenticity, sincerity starts within and re-parenting oneself with gentleness, humor, love and respect are the tools that fuels the process."
- A
"Full of useful, helpful guidance!!!! So, I say thank you for your efforts! It was not preachy at all - and I guard against 'preachiness.' ...Thank you for your efforts Barb."
- A.C
"I play [your podcasts] for people when I give them rides home from meetings. They find them awesome as I do...I am hoping to begin using your podcasts in groups at work - short enough to hold people's attention and wonderful topics that all can benefit from as we try to bring healing and freedom from suffering into the world...you are a delight and a noble soul. Thank you. Grateful for your commitment to help heal our planet."
- R
"If I had to describe it....I bathed in episodes 1-3 this morning and I feel much more prepared to engage in the tasks that will bring me success...thank you."
- V
"You have opened doors in my mind that I did not know existed. Listening to you and your podcasts has made an enormous impact on my life, and now my outlook. You rock!" ~ A.
"Thank you, Barb! Listening to your podcast gave me hope that you could help me.
Framing everything through the lens of “boundaries” made sense to me. Something “clicked.” I realized many of my own struggles – maybe all of them – could be seen through the same lens. I also felt – after bingeing your podcasts – that I already knew you and that you were a straight shooter. You experienced many of the challenges that I was facing, and I greatly appreciated your willingness to share openly and honestly. And I was so encouraged to hear you talk about how much better your life is after starting your own recovery journey." ~ K
