Issue 142. November 14, 2025 ✨ Higher Power Coaching & Consulting ✨
If there is ever a season that tests our ability to live life on life’s terms, it is the holidays.
Plans change. People behave in ways we wish they would not. Someone arrives late, someone cancels, someone says something that lands like a rock in your gut, and suddenly you feel like the little kid at the dinner table trying to keep the peace.
The holidays can bring up old expectations of how things should be. When reality doesn’t match the picture in our heads, frustration and resentment can show up fast.
This is where the practice of living life on life’s terms becomes essential.
The truth I resisted for years.
Before recovery, I lived life on my own terms.
I wanted the world to cooperate with my plans.
I wanted people to behave the way I thought they should.
I wanted things to unfold according to the script in my mind.
When they didn’t, I fought against reality. I used anger, control, over-giving, and distraction to avoid what was happening. I believed that if I worked harder or helped more, I could make everything turn out right.
It never worked.
All that fighting drained my energy and stole my peace. What I could not see back then was that serenity doesn’t come from fixing the world. It comes from accepting it.
The shift that changed everything.
Acceptance is not the same as approval.
I can accept that my brother doesn’t understand my choices and still hold my boundary.
I can accept that my mother will always ask too many questions and still give short answers.
I can accept that someone will bring drama to a gathering and still choose not to engage.
Acceptance doesn’t mean I like what is happening. It means I stop fighting what is happening. The struggle against reality is what exhausts us, not the circumstance itself.
Living life on life’s terms means I pause, breathe, and acknowledge what is true right now. Then I choose my next action from a place of peace rather than resistance.
What that looks like during the holidays.
Here are a few real-life examples.
• The meal burns in the oven. Order pizza and enjoy the story you will tell next year.
• Your flight is delayed. Use that time to rest, read, or listen to something that lifts you up.
• A relative starts the same old argument. Step outside, stretch, or change the subject.
• You feel lonely or left out. Name what you feel, breathe through it, and treat yourself with kindness. Reach out to someone to ask how THEY’RE doing. It’s easier than saying, ‘I’m lonely’ and creates a much-needed connection.
Life doesn’t stop being life because it is the holiday season. The good news is that you still have the power to respond differently.
When I remember that I don’t control people, places, or things, I can let go of how others behave and focus on who I want to be. That is how serenity grows, even in the middle of chaos.
An invitation to make this season easier.
If you are ready to experience a calm and peaceful holiday season, I invite you to join me for Holiday Boundaries Express.
Together we’ll create a simple plan to help you protect your peace, honor your needs, and enjoy the season without guilt or resentment. You will leave with clear scripts, stronger confidence, and a sense of freedom that lasts well beyond the holidays.
Details about Holiday Boundaries Express.
Final thought.
Peace comes when I stop insisting that life cooperate with me and instead choose to cooperate with life.
That is the moment serenity begins. And that serenity is the greatest gift you can give yourself this holiday season.
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