Kind Words from AMAZING People
I'm over the moon just thinking about all the kind words people have said to and about me!
I created this page because so many of my clients share lots of details about their work with me and it feels wrong to keep it all to myself! However, I don't want to overwhelm readers with their full testimonials unless they actually WANT to read them. So here you go!
~ Lindsay
Working with Barb has changed the trajectory of my life. Period. I am someone who has worked with therapists for decades, I have done some work independently, I am an avid reader on self-help topics. I've done retreats, yoga for therapy, plant medicine ceremonies, you name it. I fought long and hard to find the answers. Meeting Barb connected ALL the dots I've spent my entire adult life working on. I have actually worked with coaches as well but she's not just a coach - she has lived and breathed this material turning what were traumatic beginnings into something incredibly healing and fruitful and she is now passing on her life's education and gifts to us. It has been an incredible blessing to have found Barb and I will move forward from our sessions a far more whole, self-loving person than when we started.
~ Alison
I have learned so much from my coaching sessions with Barb. Her no-nonsense direct style and straight forward tools and strategies have been game changers in my life. Her ability and willingness to listen and work with me to build skills has been successful in helping me build lasting changes in my personal and work life. Before working with Barb I struggled expressing my true intentions and found myself in deep despair and resentment. With her framework, I've been able to collect tools and build strategies to implement stronger boundaries and ask for what I need. I'm grateful for finding her!
~ Tammy
~ Chrissy
Before Barb's program, I was having a hard time finding balance in my life. I was just running from one thing to another and was not finding joy in anything I did. I was exhausted and burned out. I complained all the time. I didn't know how to say no to things I really didn't want to do. I was always angry and offended. I gave ultimatums, burned bridges and held grudges. I obsessed over things that weren't my business. My mind would ruminate out of control and I would replay situations over and over in my head. I didn't know how to let things go and was not very forgiving. I guess you could say I was a people-pleaser who didn't like people!! I was miserable and needed a change.
I am so thankful for Barb and her boundaries course. It has literally changed my life and how I look at and think about things. I have so much more energy now because I am only participating in things that truly bring me joy! I am not as angry anymore and am learning to mind my own business. I spend my time working on the things that I can change and don't waste my time obsessing over the things I can't. I am much more accepting of others and feel like I am building genuine relationships for the first time ever! My mind is quieter and I have so much more peace in my life.
Anyone and everyone could benefit from this program but especially people that are in helping professions. People in those types of jobs typically have a hard time saying no and are at a higher level of burnout because of it. I highly recommend Better Boundaries with Barb!!
~ Lauren
I reached my “codependency bottom” after chasing someone I had a crush on who was emotionally unavailable. I was motivated to sign up for coaching because I’d been aware of my codependency for several years, yet realized I’d made little to no progress in actually addressing the patterns that were perpetuating dysfunction in my life. I knew I wanted to work on boundaries, but didn’t know where to begin. I was also very worried about my ability to set limits and boundaries in a personal, non-social context—not only because I thought I needed social accountability to make changes, but I also feared feeling further alienated in a relationship to self that had been strained for a long time.
While I initially worried that I wasn’t “ripe for change” (as Barb describes her ideal client), I quickly found that a willingness to dig deep on the issues I was facing was the only prerequisite for making important progress.
Perhaps the most profound shift stemmed from learning that I can set boundaries from a place of loving-kindness. It was hardest for me to set boundaries with people I feared losing (including myself, with a fear of feeling cut off from my inner child). Working with Barb taught me that setting boundaries isn’t giving someone the cold shoulder or being emotionally detached, but can in fact be a very loving practice. I figured out that setting boundaries that prioritize my own nervous system regulation is essentially adopting my inner child and looking out for her. It turns out that these boundaries were a key missing piece in my personal healing journey and capacity for reparenting.
Today, having finished the coaching program I’m in awe of how much more love, care, and compassion I’m capable of feeling towards myself. I had no idea that boundaries work would enhance my capacity for all of that, and it’s a truly wonderful surprise. Having my own boundaries system has made it possible to feel more at home within myself, and opens up a world of opportunities that I finally feel ready to take advantage of. After years of feeling broken and small, my world is beginning to feel expansive and abundant.
I know that I wouldn’t have been able to glean so much from the program had I not already been pretty far along in my own personal healing work. Boundaries coaching was a wonderful complement to working with a therapist and my addiction recovery program, and built on a foundation of reading and research about dysfunctional family dynamics that helped me understand myself. I would say that someone who already has a fairly good handle on their mental/emotional health and is ready for targeted work on codependency is best positioned to benefit from coaching with Barb.
I so appreciate the work that Barb is doing—this particular niche is so important for adult children of family dysfunction. It’s wonderful that she’s able to leverage her lived experiences and lessons from recovery into a program that can be truly life-changing for those that are ready to do the work.
~ Emilie
I needed to set boundaries with an ex and my parents. This was unconscious at the time, but I knew that I couldn’t do it alone and that I needed support. So I sought out Barb. I had been listening to her podcast for a few months and she was so insightful, compelling, and legit—I knew intuitively she would be great to work with.
I started to see that lessons about boundaries permeate every aspect of life. I went into the program seeking support for personal relationship boundaries, but ended up learning a ton about how to have better boundaries at work.
I’ve managed to maintain the boundaries I set with the ex and my parents. Although this has steered me into uncharted life territory (which is weird and terrifying at times), I’ve never felt freer and I’ve never had such clarity about where I begin and end in relationships. I feel as if I’m starting fresh in life.
If you need to set any kind of boundary in your life, if you want to learn more about how you’re showing up in relationships, and if you want to feel freed up inside your own life, then you should absolutely work with Barb.
Working with Barb will change your life. You'll start to see yourself more clearly and you'll have more agency. Her knowledge, insights, and approach are powerful and effective.
~ Louise B.
When I started working with Barb I was in a state of transition in my life. I was grieving my husband who, although still alive, was in long-term care and unable to function physically and mentally. I had made the decision to start living my life for me. But the prospect was daunting. It meant setting boundaries on everything from my finances to my time after years of putting my husband and my extended family first. Barb helped me to value and respect myself and to make that my center. I intellectually knew a lot about boundaries after more than a decade in Al Anon. The difference in working with Barb was her help in applying the principles to my present life and situation, her fresh way of explaining and conceptualizing those principles, and talking them through weekly with her. I had already become hooked on her podcasts. Working with her for three months put me on firm ground to start living a life of valuing and understanding myself. I can’t thank her enough!
~ Karie W.
Working with Barb has been one of the best gifts I could have given myself. She helped me understand my anxieties, helped me understand the value in setting boundaries for myself and others-and has been a true support when I needed it most.
Her work is thorough and concise, but more than that, she has an amazing understanding of recovery. I would not be where I am today if it weren’t for the work I did with this amazing inspiration of a person. ❤️
~ Diana L.
Before joining the coaching program Better Boundaries with Barb, I had done some reading on and had some practice setting boundaries but I was still full of self doubt and second guessing many of my “boundaries of self-protection”.
This program helped me to “take off the masks” I was wearing and get really honest about what my values, resources, strengths, and needs are today. Further, I learned how to use my specific highest values as a guide for decision making that enables me to live with integrity. Knowing how to do that has eliminated much of the self-doubt and second guessing I was experiencing.
Anyone ready to get clear on who they truly are today and how to live into that truth would benefit from working through this program guided by Barb’s wisdom and expertise on boundaries.
Again, I am so thankful for your help and will (and have already) recommend your program to others I think would benefit from working with you.
~ Jean L.
Without the ability to set and maintain the boundaries I needed, I couldn’t operate in the world without tending to others first, whether or not they asked for or wanted my help. Being so unapologetically other-focused, my only tool for relief was to cut people off and isolate when I hit a wall. Yet having squashed my needs and feelings for so long, I could no longer find any peace in isolation either.
Listening to Barb’s podcasts, I decided to take a chance with her, and it changed my life. As I moved through her 1:1 coaching program, I gained an understanding of why, where, and how to set boundaries, and got started right away. I trusted Barb’s immense scholarship, and quickly felt all the warmth and growth that is possible for a person when a lifelong shame finally thaws. Self-compassion is real for me now, for the first time EVER. No exaggeration. Boundaries are everything, and Barb is the master.
~ Denise D.
~ Jeanette M.
I reached out to Barb at a point of great emotional distress. I believe grief was at the core of my anguish and my established coping strategy, established as a child in a dysfunctional family, was failing me. In the two years prior I’d experienced the illness and death of my father, mother-in-law and brother-in-law, I had separated from a company that I had built after 24 years and made the difficult decision to go “no contact” with several family members. My abandonment wound was inflamed.
I was relentlessly and desperately trying to keep the remaining precious people in my life from abandoning me. My most cherished relationship, that which I have with my 25-year-old son, was dramatically changing. We’d gone from a healthy relationship to one where my fear of losing his love was at the center of every interaction. In retrospect, I see now that I was figuratively and literally chasing him and begging him to tell me he loves me and that he will never leave me. Fear was driving me to place my focus, my wellbeing, my worthiness in the hands of everyone else.
I had realized I did this as a child with my family, but this “defect” was less apparent in my relationships as an adult until now. The pain and my dysfunctional response to my deep grief was severe enough for me to seek help. I am a resourceful problem solver and cast a broad net that included an online mother-wound course, one-on-one therapy, group therapy, attending a weekly 12 step program and various podcasts on healing the inner child and childhood trauma. I was listening to an adult-child podcast and Barb was the guest being interviewed. I connected with everything she said. I listened to several of Barb’s Fragment to Whole podcasts and scheduled a complementary session. After speaking with Barb, I was confident she would be able to help me.
In working with Barb and following her curriculum I came to understand that keeping the focus on myself and always acting in a way that is aligned with my values will be the only way to have true intimacy with the people I love. When the ability to have connection and closeness fails, I will remind myself that how someone else receives me is none of my business and how I chose to feel is only up to me. I will remember that I cannot “pick up milk at the hardware store”.
I now have clear and simple tools that I can use to navigate my life and my relationships. I hope that my life is full, and I will have opportunities to apply these same tools to new challenges.
Life has always shown me what deserves my attention and when I need to make a change. My discomfort was a signal for change. I feel very fortunate that my higher power led me to Barb Nangle. Her support was essential for me to understand what I was doing and why it was not working. She explained what I needed to understand to make meaningful change. Only with her guidance have I been able to begin establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries in my life. The change has been very promising, and I am filled with renewed hope.
~ Carol L.
I had completed 12 step recovery in CODA, had just moved to a new city, and was establishing my social network. I’m a recovering codependent, love addict and work addict, and I was also contemplating dating again, after a 3 year break to focus on me. I thought at the beginning of the program that I had recovery nailed and just needed a few tips to get ready to date again. Boy was I wrong! I learned so much more.
So many wins! I learned about the Karpman/Drama Ttriangle, and my childhood pattern to fix others (i.e., meddle in their business and tick them off), and learned to identify if and when I repeated that pattern, and that it was actually enabling victim behavior.
I learned to set boundaries at work with my personal time and to stand up to others when I was treated badly. I learned to ask for what I want and need, kindly. I learned to stop sharing “too much information” with anyone that came along.
I learned what an enmeshed relationship feels like, and how that was the only type of relationship I had, and that healthy actually felt distant to me. I converted one of my relationships with my BFF from enmeshed to healthy.
I learned how to provide support to my own inner child and to take care of myself when I am triggered. I learned to stop shaming myself when I had a new insight about my past behavior – “info, not ammo” – insights are gifts, and if I don’t see the trouble with my behavior, I will not be able to change it. Finally, after considering deeply my values (which I thought I already knew), I am more confident in my future path and feel less worried about what is to come.
Well, I’ve tried dating sights, and I have learned not to take it personally when I’m not someone’s cup of tea. I’ve learned how to give myself love when I’m upset. I’m moving forward with my life as a single woman, living life on purpose, aligned with my values. I really have come to point where I care more about what I think of me than what others think of me. In the beginning I didn’t think that was possible. I’m happy, centered, present and looking forward to the future.
The best part of the program was the one-on-one coaching as I navigated my daily life. Barb’s materials are great, and I will refer to them absolutely, but Barb’s ability to point out gently and lovingly what I was doing to create chaos in my life - was invaluable. Barb is a gifted coach. I think anyone who wants to drive change in their life would benefit. Anyone who is interested in having equal and loving relationships in all aspects of their lives, and who is prepared to look deeply inside to figure out what patterns he or she may have that are getting in the way of that goal. Anyone
who is in transition who struggles with decisions. Anyone who feels unduly influenced by what other people think.
~Sarah G.
Before joining Barb’s coaching program, I was deeply enmeshed in my relationships with my daughter and husband. I spent a lot of time trying to control my daughter's life and feeling frustrated that my husband wasn't meeting my needs. At work, I struggled to maintain boundaries because I lacked a clear sense of my own values. Despite being in recovery for almost ten years, I felt increasingly unhappy.
- My relationship with my daughter has significantly improved. I've stopped micromanaging her life and realized she's perfectly capable of managing her own affairs. This shift has helped me see us as individuals rather than enmeshed. I'm also rediscovering my own identity
- I've seen positive changes in my relationship with my husband, thanks to specific skills learned in the program. By letting go of expectations, focusing on my own needs, communicating my desires directly, and establishing healthy boundaries, our relationship has transformed. I'm learning to prioritize my own happiness, which is incredibly fulfilling.
- In the workplace, I've become adept at identifying situations where my boundaries were crossed. Instead of staying passive, I've learned to confront these issues directly. This not only made me feel empowered but also created a supportive environment for my team. Barb's guidance, especially through Telegram conversations, played a crucial role in this process.
While I understand that this journey is ongoing, I've already seen substantial and meaningful changes due to Barb's coaching program. Particularly, my relationships at home have improved significantly. At work, I've become more attuned to my needs and am improving in recognizing my values and asserting my desires and limits. This has also strengthened the foundation of my recovery journey, addressing the core issues that have been troubling me. It's clear that boundary-setting was the key to resolving many of my challenges.
Anyone in the ACA program or those who have struggled with dysfunctional families.
~ Chris L.
I had just left my husband and moved in with my mom. I had been in Al-Anon for 12 months prior to working with Barb. I was hyper focused on others behavior that was outside of my control that was impacting my daily walk. I was allowing other people values, opinions, behavior and attitude impact me on a deep level.
1.) Understanding what boundaries are and what they are not.
2.) Understanding of what is mine to own and what is mine to release.
3.) Understanding that boundaries protect me from others and myself when I may be crossing someone else's boundaries due to old behavior patterns.
4.) I've learned the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships and how I may have equated love with behavior that I was taught that is actually unhealthy.
I learned what my values are so that I have a starting place with boundaries. I learned where I have power and what is NONE OF MY BUSINESS. I learned what boundaries I need to keep me safe and which ones are to keep others safe from me.
I believe that if you are a person that looks to others to "make them happy" or someone that believes that "in only so and so would do...." or you continue to find yourself in relationships that are damaging you would benefit from working with Barb.
It may be difficult to spend money on yourself in this way, however this investment is not something that you should even question. If you have lived years in pain and sorrow and believing that others are the cause, don't you want a lasting solution to that vexing problem?
~ Cathy R.
I discovered Barb's Boundary Coaching program following a particular event in my life and a subsequent decision that it was time to take the focus off of other people and start figuring out who I was and what I wanted. I was an admitted people pleaser, constantly worried about what other people thought of me. I didn't understand there was a difference between being "nice" and being "kind" and thought I could control other's opinions of me by being nice. If I felt they approved of me, then I liked myself, but if I thought they felt some other way, then I turned myself inside out trying to change that narrative. (which actually only existed inside my head).
I had a huge fear of being abandoned and would do almost anything not to feel that way. Because I was consumed with the pressure of what other people thought of me, I didn't have clear boundaries in many parts of my life. I was afraid to ask for what I wanted and afraid to tell people what was ok with me and what wasn't. I said "yes'' too often when I want to say "no". I was afraid of hurting other people's feelings- and I was filled with resentment and anger. I was tired of turning myself inside out to be liked and loved and I wanted to repair the giant hole in my heart.
I have discovered that much of my people pleasing came from lessons I learned growing up in a alcoholic and dysfunctional home. As I started working through some of those issues, Barb helped see how I could shift the focus away from what others thought of me to what I thought of myself. I began to understand the masks I've worn in an attempt to control other's impressions of me.
I started taking risks and asking for what I wanted. I started saying no to things I didn't want to do without having a flood of shame wash over me. I learned to pause when I was triggered by an event and to give myself time to process how my past was contributing to that. In doing so, I've discovered I can respond in a different way. I can choose to be an actor vs a reactor in any situation.
I got the courage to separate from my alcoholic husband after 23 years of being together and 8 years of marriage. I started coming out of denial about my childhood and the role that trauma played in my relationships as an adult
I have been living on my own for almost 3 months. This is the first time I have ever lived on my own (I'm 62). I have found a renewed spirituality and relationship to God. I've experienced more peace than I've felt in many years.
Separating from my husband has been very tough and I've had many sad days, but I'm learning to let the feelings come and go, and in doing so spend less time in the mental swirl around the story.
I keep practicing the foundational lessons I learned working with Barb and I remember that "anything worth doing is worth doing poorly at first" and that "I won't get better at something by not doing it". So everyday I strive to do my best.
Anyone who:
- Is a chronic people pleaser
- Struggles to know who they are and what they want and like
- Feels anger and resentment toward other people
Barb is an amazing coach and all around human being. She finds that perfect balance between gently pushing you beyond your discomfort and helping you feel safe in the space she provides. She leads by example and coaches through the lens of her own experiences and deep knowledge. I can't say enough about her program.
Thank you Barb- I will always be grateful that I found you!
~ Carrie B.
I came into coaching with Barb burnt out and ready for change . I was trying so hard at work, family and my marriage but feeling sad and angry much of the time . After working through the 12 steps in my recovery program, I saw that I needed to be honest with myself and others , and ask for what I need rather than replaying old patterns of manipulation and people pleasing. I needed help on how to do that.
I heard Barb on a podcast, looked up her podcast and website , and decided to work with her to learn how to build better boundaries, and stop people pleasing and manipulating.I feel like my Higher Power put Barb in my life at the right time . I learned that by getting clear on my values, and finding and prioritizing my integrity in those values , my boundaries became more clear and my ability to set them became easier. Barb taught me concrete strategies to say my boundaries and follow through on them. She helped me understand they are FOR me , not AGAINST anyone. I’m learning how my boundaries are the map I can share with others to build intimacy in my relationships, rather than being quiet and growing resentment in my old ways of interaction. I’m learning to grow intimacy rather than resentment.
After coaching, I’m growing and experiencing closer relationships with friends and family , and letting go of old patterns that were harmful to me and others . I feel a new freedom.
If someone is looking for more peace, and deep connection in their relationships with others and themselves, working with Barb will give you necessary tools and strategies to help you get there.I’m grateful for my coaching experience with Barb. She helped me change my life and my relationships in positive ways .