Frequently Asked Questions
How do I deal with the guilt and shame I feel when setting boundaries?
To start, the worst part about difficult feelings such as these comes when we resist those feelings. It's not the feelings themselves that are the problem. Emotions are energy-in-motion that you feel in your body (which is why they're called "feelings" ) and it's the nature of all forms of energy to morph and change. When you allow the feeling to happen, it will dissipate.
That being said, the antidote to the feelings of guilt and shame for setting boundaries is to bolster your integrity by living in alignment with your values. When you act in integrity (e.g., saying "yes" when you mean yes and "no" when you mean no) the guilt and shame are so much more likely to roll off your back. The more you work on bolstering your integrity, the less and less guilt and shame you will feel. Guess how you bolster your integrity?? By setting healthy boundaries!! If you want to learn more about this process, you can either listen to this episode of my podcast (#39 Wholeness, Integration and Integrity) or sign up for a 30-minute Better Boundaries call with me.
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