Are You Saying Yes When You Really Want to Say No? Are You Putting Yourself Last??

Perhaps you're the consummate accommodator whose people-pleasing ways are wearing you out.

Listen to an actual coaching session with Barb:

Better Boundaries with Barb Private Coaching
is a 12-Week 1 on 1 Program.

Better Boundaries Private Coaching Is For You If...

  • You feel guilt and shame when you try to set boundaries
  • You don't want to (or know how to) be direct with others
  • You're overwhelmed with difficult feelings
  • You're the consummate accommodator and approval seeker
  • You engage in behaviors you're not really proud of
  • You're always focused on others and still have difficulty in your relationships
  • You want 1 on 1 attention while building your boundaries

After Participating in Private Coaching with Barb, You'll...

  • Be able to feel peaceful and calm when setting boundaries
  • Know how to communicate directly with people
  • Your feelings will become more "right-sized"
  • Do things because you really want to do them, not because you feel obligated
  • Live your life by your own values and feel proud of that
  • Learn to keep the focus on yourself and still be kind and helpful
  • Come closer to realizing your authentic identity

Claire, Private Coaching Client

"Within a month, I had listened to almost every podcast Barb had out- it felt like they were made for me. Within two months, I was signed up for Barb’s 12 Week Better Boundaries private sessions. Within four weeks with Barb, I had experienced more growth than I had experienced in 4 years with my private therapist. The person I have become with the help of Barb’s guidance is a person that I, for once in my life, truly love. The person I spent years hoping, wishing, and wanting to become is now living in MY body."

Sarah, Private Coaching Client

"My relationship with my 16-year-old daughter has significantly improved. I've stopped micromanaging her life and realized she's perfectly capable of managing her own affairs. This shift has helped me see us as individuals rather than enmeshed. I'm also rediscovering my own identity. I've seen positive changes in my relationship with my husband, thanks to specific skills learned in the program. By letting go of expectations, focusing on my own needs, communicating my desires directly, and establishing healthy boundaries, our relationship has transformed. I'm learning to prioritize my own happiness, which is incredibly fulfilling."

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Ilene, Private Coaching Client

"I work in a public school with a lot of stressed out people and children and I used to absorb their emotions (as well as elsewhere) and I’d come home exhausted (not from the job) and it was bc I didn’t have boundaries around others emotions. When I returned to work [after summer coaching with Barb] I was able to do a better job and support my colleagues bc I was able to detach and be the stable force…I have a much better sense of my time and how I want to spend my time and I’m on top of that."

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Tamora, Private Coaching Client

"I signed up because my family is just completely enmeshed. Everyone’s in everyone’s business. The other piece was at work. I just didn’t know how to say no to things and it was getting overwhelming. The biggest benefit of Barb’s coaching is feeling way less guilt about setting boundaries - recognizing that boundaries are not “the devil.” They’re actually helpful in helping me communicate to other people how to be in relationship with me."

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Jean, Private Coaching Client

"Without the ability to set and maintain the boundaries I needed, I couldn’t operate in the world without tending to others first, whether or not they asked for or wanted my help. Being so unapologetically other-focused, my only tool for relief was to cut people off and isolate when I hit a wall. Yet having squashed my needs and feelings for so long, I could no longer find any peace in isolation either.

Listening to Barb’s podcasts, I decided to take a chance with her, and it changed my life. As I moved through her 1:1 coaching program, I gained an understanding of why, where, and how to set boundaries, and got started right away. I trusted Barb’s immense scholarship, and quickly felt all the warmth and growth that is possible for a person when a lifelong shame finally thaws. Self-compassion is real for me now, for the first time EVER. No exaggeration. Boundaries are everything, and Barb is the master."

Emilie, Private Coaching Client

"I needed to set boundaries with an ex and my parents. This was unconscious at the time, but I knew that I couldn’t do it alone and that I needed support. So I sought out Barb. I went into the program seeking support for personal relationship boundaries, but ended up learning a ton about how to have better boundaries at work. I started to see that lessons about boundaries permeate every aspect of life.

I’ve managed to maintain the boundaries I set with the ex and my parents. Although this has steered me into uncharted life territory (which is weird and terrifying at times), I’ve never felt freer and I’ve never had such clarity about where I begin and end in relationships. I feel as if I’m starting fresh in life.

If you need to set any kind of boundary in your life, if you want to learn more about how you’re showing up in relationships, working with Barb will change your life. You'll start to see yourself more clearly and you'll have more agency. Her knowledge, insights, and approach are powerful and effective."

Rarely Asked Questions and Secret Fears

 

Can you guarantee I’ll transform?

If you guarantee you will do all the work involved, I guarantee you will transform. But since there is no way for me to ensure you have done the work, I can’t make any guarantees. What I can do is the next best thing—Let you read testimonials from my clients.

Can I get a refund?

If you are completely dissatisfied after the 12-week program and can prove that you have done all the assigned work, I will refund half of your fee.

What if I don't have enough time to devote to the work?

You'll need to set aside one hour weekly for our calls, and another 60-90 minutes a week to do the other work (2-2.5 hours total per week). The weekly zoom calls will be scheduled at the same time each week. The other work, which consists of reading articles and/or listening to podcast episodes, plus doing the weekly training exercises in the workbook, doesn't need to be done all at once. You can devote several 15-20 minute blocks of time for that. If you can't devote 2-2.5 hours per week to this work, this isn't the program for you because you won't get the results if you don't put in the time.

What if it gets too personal?

If you are not willing to risk getting deeply personal, you won't get any real transformation and coaching probably is not for you. And I don’t just mean coaching from me, I mean from anyone.

What if others find out I’m coaching with you?

That will be up to you to disclose. I maintain the anonymity of my clients unless they give me permission to share their pic or name. I never share last names.

What if I can’t handle the things that come up?

I’m a seasoned boundaries coach and experienced facilitator and will not “take you” places you’re unwilling or unable to “go.” it would be counterproductive to our work together, and could also be harmful, which I won’t allow.

What if you judge me?

I look at it like this–I’m coaching FORMER ME, I get you. I WAS you. I don’t judge the former me, I have compassion for her. I love her. So I won’t judge you. It wouldn’t be good for you, me or my business.

What if I’m afraid to look inside myself or don’t want to hear what you tell me about myself?

Coaching is about finding the causes of our habits and patterns and why we do what we do. When we discover that, change is so much easier. You shouldn’t enter into any coaching relationship if you are not willing to hear things you may not like about yourself.

What if I’m afraid to change?

Welcome to the human race! Seriously–we’re all afraid of change to some degree. This is a coachable issue. I’ll guide you step by step and support you through the process.

What if I set boundaries and people reject and abandon me?

This could happen, but in most cases it won’t. If someone does not agree with or cannot handle the standards you have for your life (which is what boundaries are), they may reject or abandon you. The reality is that you’ll attract more people who are comfortable for you to be around when you live your life according to your standards. Here’s an example using health: When you decide to raise your health standards to include regular exercise and healthy, wholesome foods, you may lose the people you used to overeat and lazed around with. If you really want to uphold your new health standards, and they’re not willing to stick around for that, that tells you something about those relationships. They may not be the kind of people you want to keep in your life.

How do I know this will be worth the investment?

This is a hard one to answer because “worth it” will always be an individual assessment. The best thing I can do is share the benefits I’ve received from building healthy boundaries and to have you read testimonials from actual clients who’ve worked with me. Personally, the kinds of benefits I’ve all received from having healthy boundaries is priceless - there’s no way to put a dollar amount on things like

  • feeling comfortable in my own skin
  • no longer feeling like shitting my pants when I think of asking for help or saying no to someone
  • being in a stable, healthy, happy and loving romantic relationship for the first time in my life
  • loving myself
  • trusting myself
  • feeling worthy
  • having much more energy than ever
  • giving to and supporting others by choice, not obligation

I’m afraid of confrontation.

Setting boundaries is not about confrontation. The majority of the boundaries you set will not even be spoken, you’ll just change your behavior. There are also a large proportion of your boundaries that are for you and you only, so you don’t have to speak those either. For the boundaries you need to communicate to others, I’ll provide tools, resources and methods to handle difficult conversations with confidence and ease.

 

Denise testimonial - I'm better than her many therapists

In Private Coaching with Barb on Better Boundaries You'll Receive:

  • 12 weekly 60-minute private coaching calls on Zoom
  • A growing multi-media curriculum on how to build better boundaries
  • A hard copy of my 137-page Better Boundaries Workbook with weekly training exercises to build your own boundary system
  • Feedback tailored to you and your specific situations
  • A private Trello Board for accountability, consistency and tracking your progress
  • Unlimited 1:1 support with me via Telegram for text and voice messaging (Responses within 24 hours M-F)
  • BONUS! You'll have a free membership in the Guilt Free Guild while you're a private client. This is a monthly membership group that meetings 1st and 3rd Wednesdays at 8 p.m. EST/5 p.m. PST for women who want to connect with others while working on their boundaries
  • BONUS! You'll have access to all the content in my Private Vault on an as-needed basis. This includes resources on a wide range of topics such as overcoming victim mentality and unrealistic expectations, feelings and emotions, cultivating happiness and joy and so much more!

"Wow! Who knew?

Boundaries are more than saying no to others, it is also saying YES to yourself and much more. Private boundary coaching with Barb has been an agent of self-reflection and action that I needed. She is very supportive, organized, and empowering as she guides me through her system of boundary setting. Before Barb I read many self-help books. However, I found it hard to take action and fully integrate the new knowledge into my life with consistency. Barb’s format of boundary setting and coaching brings everything together and empowers me to take action. If you are ready to make a change I highly recommend seeking Barbs services."

– Carrie

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What people are saying

"Fear was driving me to place my focus, my wellbeing, my worthiness in the hands of everyone else. The pain and my dysfunctional response to my deep grief was severe enough for me to seek help.
In working with Barb and following her curriculum I came to understand that keeping the focus on myself and always acting in a way that is aligned with my values will be the only way to have true intimacy with the people I love. When the ability to have connection and closeness fails, I will remind myself that how someone else receives me is none of my business and how I chose to feel is only up to me. I will remember that I cannot “pick up milk at the hardware store”. - Jeanette

After only four weeks of private coaching, C had this to say: “I've had a great week - a really really really good week. I feel just so empowered, and I feel more in control of like myself and my life.”